Dear V

Dear V: Is a climax a month worth the relationship?…

Dear V,

I am currently in this long-distance relationship with my boyfriend from Virginia. We meet up once a month and have incredible sex. Unfortunately, I worry that our relationship is losing its spark and is becoming too physical. Is the distance a problem? What should I do?

Sleepless in Miami


Sext a la Skype,

I admire your reference to “Sleepless in Seattle” because it highlights your situation but completely gives you the wrong impression. Their magical bond that transcends low-frequency radio waves and only helps strengthen their love does not equate to your excuse for sex.

I agree with you, though. There is nothing like the promise of long-awaited sex with a familiar face. You can practice new moves from your Kama Sutra app, revisit old ones and never skip a beat.

But there’s the problem. Your relationship has reached the inevitable plateau.

During this plateau, work and school replace heated passions. Daily Skype sessions have become weekly or biweekly. The novelty of an exciting return and the makeout session in the airport terminal turn stale and quite frankly boring.

Yes, the distance between Miami and Virginia influences your relationship dynamic, but its effect has its limits.

Sometimes the distance reminds you that you might be ready for something exciting. At the very least, you are one step closer to Executive Platinum status.

I can imagine all of the latest possibilities for a Miami girl in her prime: an arboretum attraction, a Grove gallop and sharing Smirnoff at the Rat. Never underestimate the power of good alliteration.

You have to make the decision, unfortunately. Do you want to continue phone and Internet sex punctuated by five indulgent sex-filled returns? Or are you prepared to a take a leap of faith, the breakdown of a relationship based on proximity and not any real promise?

Either way, you have to realize your life is not a Nora Ephron movie. Get it together.


January 27, 2013



Advice Columnist

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