Dear V,
I never thought I was going to be the girl that did what I just did. Last night, I slept with my TA, and now I don’t have feelings for him. I think it was the rush of doing something so naughty and inappropriate. The problem is that he thinks that we’re serious, and I don’t want to pursue anything serious at the moment. What should I do?
My So-Called Scandal
Tangoed with a TA,
I apologize in advance for my candidness, but you screwed the TA! I don’t understand why you’re not more excited. The prospect of someone older and more sophisticated (well, it’s all relative) would make any girl want to take the same course twice to gaze into the eyes of her beloved. And if it is a large lecture hall, you don’t even have to register for the class again. That sounds like a plan to me.
But once you delve into the waters of the TA, there may not be the chance of turning back. The species Teachurious Assiantea focuses on academics and has aspirations of surviving the dark world of graduate school. They see themselves as undergraduate mentors in preparatory habitats in order to survive the harsh winters of master theses and later Ph.D. proposals.
And some undergraduate TAs have to make the most of their few months before graduating, because bad sex with a curious undergrad may give them a reason to apply to law school (yes, I just went there).
Fortunately, most TAs are so absorbed in their work that they may feel similarly about meaningless sex. The two of you had fun and then watched reruns of “Fringe” or the “The X-Files,” a favorite pastime of Assiantea.
But you have to watch for the clingy ones. That breed takes every comment and word so seriously that precautions must be followed. Make sure to ask whether the TA wants a relationship or a renewal of their month-long times without sex. In all cases, follow some zombie apocalypse guidelines online or at your local visitors center to start prepping for these moments.
My best advice is to talk to him and explain that you’re not ready for a committed relationship and you can’t watch the season finale of “Fringe.” Otherwise, you may have to resort to drastic measures like dropping the class or ignoring him.
I really hope he doesn’t have a hold on your grade because that might not help you get into law school where you’ll have to litigate out of this one. Who knows? You might also find him there.
V