Dear V

Dear V: I’d like to phone a different friend…

Dear V,

I have a friend who can’t get off without calling someone. Yeah, this sounds weird. But basically, she gets off on the fact that someone is hearing her do the dirty. I’ve gotten a few calls myself and I want it to stop. How do I address this situation?  

Sincerely,
Screening my calls

 

Dear Booty Call Butt-Dial,

Easiest solution – don’t pick up your phone when she calls you.  If you stop answering (and therefore stop hearing her), she’ll eventually stop calling.

Let her know, though.  Clearly this is making you uncomfortable, and as your friend, she should respect your boundaries. Also, you must be at least a little freaky if you’re friends with her.  Therefore, you both probably know a few people who would love to hear her moaning over the telephone, but if you’re not one of these sex fiends, you need to make that clear.

If she doesn’t get the message, return the favor.  Call her up while you’re getting down, make sure you’re extra loud, and see how she feels.  Just because she gets off to someone hearing her doesn’t mean she gets off to hearing other people. Although this may have the reverse effect and just take these calls to a whole different level: FaceTime?

But her bringing you into her bedroom, without consent, isn’t fair.  It isn’t fair to anyone she’s calling, and I’m sure you are not alone.  Ask around.  If others also tell your friend that you guys are tired of these dirty phone calls, maybe it will turn her off and she’ll stop.  Maybe she can find something else that helps get her get off.  I’ve heard handcuffs are making a comeback.

You could also hand her a list of sex hotlines. There are plenty of operators waiting, and they’d be much more willing to listen to your friend climax than you will – at leat they’re getting paid.

You shouldn’t be sacrificing your comfort for your friend’s orgasm when you could be spending that time off the phone and having one of your own. Seems like you could use one with all that action going on around you.

 

V

October 3, 2012

Reporters


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Miami coach Jim Larranaga is staying on the Hurricanes while they keep piling up wins. Dewan Huell h ...

Shakey Rodriguez, the Miami high school basketball coaching legend, vividly remembers the first time ...

It was a good day for the Miami Hurricanes basketball team. They moved up to No. 6 in the AP Top 25 ...

Erykah Davenport and Shaneese Bailey made key plays back-to-back late in the game and four players s ...

1. MARLINS: Jeter's Fish trade Gordon. Stanton next?: While others spend -- like the Angels to ...

William W. Sandler Jr. Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Education earns national recognition for it ...

Retired baseball star Alex Rodriguez gives "Major League" advice to UM’s fall graduating c ...

Becoming the Man of the Hour ...

Always a little bit of a flair for the dramatic. ...

A scholarship created by retired Major League Baseball star Alex Rodriguez and born out of his love ...

Dewan Huell recorded his second double-double of the season as Miami improved to 9-0 with a 59-50 wi ...

The Miami Hurricanes football team hosted the 2017 Football Awards Show at Gusman Hall on the Univer ...

The Miami women's basketball team begins play at the Puerto Rico Classic Monday against Sacrame ...

The University of Miami women's basketball team capped its seven-game homestand with a 79-31 wi ...

University of Miami senior wide receiver Braxton Berrios earned 2017 first-team 2017 CoSIDA Academic ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.