Dear V

Dear V, I want all fifty shades of naughty…

Dear V,

After reading Fifty Shades of Grey, I can’t imagine life without bondage. Ever since I painted my apartment red, my sex life has been nothing but grey. How can I find my Christian Grey?

Signed,

“Ana”nymous

 

Dear Miss Steele,

So you’re into S&M. Welcome to my world. I’m all for kinky shit, especially when it involves a leather riding crop.

If you’re looking for a “Sir” to tie you up and do the nasty, I recommend a trip to your neighborhood bondage club. These clubs will satisfy all of your fetish, bondage and BDSM needs. And maybe you’ll find your dream dom.

But I don’t think Christian Grey is who you want gagging you. You should find someone else to take your breath away. He might be a freak in the sheets, but the relationship between Christian and Anastasia is the bad kind of freaky – you don’t want to be tied down that way.

Try not to let your fetish dominate your life. If you want to leave your mark on your partner, go for it. But if you can’t imagine your life without having someone control you, there’s a bigger issue at hand.

Don’t confuse dominance and manipulation. You don’t want to be on a leash outside of the red room. Most importantly, know your limits, pick a safe word and choose the right partner. Like in any relationship, trust and consent are a must.

With that, happy bonding. I hope it’s everything E.L. James makes it out to be and more. Keep a bottle of Advil next to the lube. Some parting words: try the hogtie, invest in a set of nipple clamps and be safe.

We aim to please,

V

August 19, 2012

Reporters


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

1. MARLINS: Jeter's Fish trade Gordon. Stanton next?: While others spend -- like the Angels to ...

A six-pack of Hurricanes notes on a Thursday: ▪ With the first ever early signing period just two we ...

University of Miami coach Mark Richt and Wisconsin coach Paul Chryst sat on a stage poolside at the ...

Former pro wrestler and promoter The Tennessee Stud Ron Fuller was interviewed by Ryan K. Boman of T ...

The University of Miami has its future quarterback. Jarren Williams, a consensus four-star, dual-thr ...

Graduating with Comedic Timing ...

The top graduate from UM's School of Education and Human Development shines in the classroom. ...

Students in University of Miami’s School of Communication’s Orange Umbrella Student Consultancy garn ...

Through its new Leadership UMiami program, the Butler Center for Service and Leadership is empowerin ...

A Biomedical Engineering Major and campus leader, Sterlie Achille involved herself in many activitie ...

Hurricanes earn highest ranking since March 2013. ...

Walker IV recorded a career-high 26 points, seven rebounds in the win over Boston U. ...

The University of Miami women's basketball team earned an impressive 65-54 win over No. 20/23 K ...

After its longest break of the season thus far, the University of Miami women's basketball team ...

Miami senior wide receiver Braxton Berrios, a double major in finance and entrepreneurship, was name ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.