Dear V

Dear V: Is my virginity to blame for my boyfriend-lessness?

Dear V,
I really messed things up. My boyfriend of four months and I broke up over the weekend and I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault. Despite his requests, we never once had sex. It’s something I always have planned on saving for marriage, and he knew that, but I wonder now if he might have stayed with me had we done the deed. It’s probably all my fault just because I was too prude. What’s a girl to do?

Sincerely,

Lonely and Sexless

Dear Mother Teresa,

Contrary to popular belief, shagging sadly can’t always fix everything. In fact, it usually just makes things worse. Just ask Bill Clinton next time he’s on campus.
The fact of the matter is that your boyfriend probably didn’t leave you because of how tightly closed you had your legs. I’m sure he had a better reason. Like the fact that you seem to blame yourself for things that really aren’t your fault. Guys don’t break up with their girlfriends over an unused condom he got from the Health Center the last time he was in there getting tested. That’s why they cheat.
You couldn’t have changed anything by sleeping with your ex-beau. Sure, it may have delayed his leaving you for a few weeks, but in the end, the result would have been the same. Stop blaming yourself. Even if you had purposefully taken a needle to that condom, he still would have only stuck around to pay the child support.
I think what you need to remember is that you stuck by your principles. And that’s respectable. Sure, your principles involve having a dusty vagina while mine involve a different person every night, but at least we aren’t just talking the talk. We are walking the walk. Even if only one of us is doing the walk of shame. Try picking up a guy at a religious event and you may just find someone who shares your same intercourse-less values. Or at least one who will put up with them.
If you’re that worried about it, learn how to booty call. It’s a pretty easy process. Get out your phone and let him know all the dirty things you want to do with his favorite appendage. Just make sure you don’t try to use your promise ring as a cock ring.

Wipe out the cobwebs first!

V

February 22, 2012

Reporters


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Shakey Rodriguez, the Miami high school basketball coaching legend, vividly remembers the first time ...

It was a good day for the Miami Hurricanes basketball team. They moved up to No. 6 in the AP Top 25 ...

Erykah Davenport and Shaneese Bailey made key plays back-to-back late in the game and four players s ...

1. MARLINS: Jeter's Fish trade Gordon. Stanton next?: While others spend -- like the Angels to ...

A six-pack of Hurricanes notes on a Thursday: ▪ With the first ever early signing period just two we ...

William W. Sandler Jr. Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Education earns national recognition for it ...

Retired baseball star Alex Rodriguez gives "Major League" advice to UM’s fall graduating c ...

Becoming the Man of the Hour ...

Always a little bit of a flair for the dramatic. ...

A scholarship created by retired Major League Baseball star Alex Rodriguez and born out of his love ...

University of Miami senior wide receiver Braxton Berrios earned 2017 first-team 2017 CoSIDA Academic ...

The Hurricanes and Colonials square off at noon Saturday in Washington, D.C. ...

University of Miami men's basketball player Chris Stowell is an active member in the Hurricanes ...

Eighteen Hurricane student-athletes graduated from four schools and colleges at the University of Mi ...

Miami director of track and field/cross country Amy Deem's incredible career earned her a place ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.