Dear V

Dear V: Is my virginity to blame for my boyfriend-lessness?

Dear V,
I really messed things up. My boyfriend of four months and I broke up over the weekend and I can’t help but feel that it’s my fault. Despite his requests, we never once had sex. It’s something I always have planned on saving for marriage, and he knew that, but I wonder now if he might have stayed with me had we done the deed. It’s probably all my fault just because I was too prude. What’s a girl to do?

Sincerely,

Lonely and Sexless

Dear Mother Teresa,

Contrary to popular belief, shagging sadly can’t always fix everything. In fact, it usually just makes things worse. Just ask Bill Clinton next time he’s on campus.
The fact of the matter is that your boyfriend probably didn’t leave you because of how tightly closed you had your legs. I’m sure he had a better reason. Like the fact that you seem to blame yourself for things that really aren’t your fault. Guys don’t break up with their girlfriends over an unused condom he got from the Health Center the last time he was in there getting tested. That’s why they cheat.
You couldn’t have changed anything by sleeping with your ex-beau. Sure, it may have delayed his leaving you for a few weeks, but in the end, the result would have been the same. Stop blaming yourself. Even if you had purposefully taken a needle to that condom, he still would have only stuck around to pay the child support.
I think what you need to remember is that you stuck by your principles. And that’s respectable. Sure, your principles involve having a dusty vagina while mine involve a different person every night, but at least we aren’t just talking the talk. We are walking the walk. Even if only one of us is doing the walk of shame. Try picking up a guy at a religious event and you may just find someone who shares your same intercourse-less values. Or at least one who will put up with them.
If you’re that worried about it, learn how to booty call. It’s a pretty easy process. Get out your phone and let him know all the dirty things you want to do with his favorite appendage. Just make sure you don’t try to use your promise ring as a cock ring.

Wipe out the cobwebs first!

V

February 22, 2012

Reporters


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Either the Miami Hurricanes get a collective adrenaline rush from heart-palpitating fourth quarters, ...

The question came straight at Ahmmon Richards, like a tight spiral. And this time, he didn’t hesitat ...

1. DOLPHINS: Miami seeks revenge vs. hated, Stinkin' Jets: Dolphins host Jets Sunday with Miami ...

Notes and observations on UM’s 27-19 win against Syracuse: • A UM source said Mark Richt seemed more ...

View photos from the Syracuse at Miami game Saturday, Oct. 21, 2017, at Hard Rock Stadium in Miami G ...

Univeristy of Miami’s Wynwood Art Gallery holds its annual faculty exhibition featuring thought-prov ...

From a game simulating how whales navigate to a tribute to Ella Fitzgerald, the U showcased some of ...

A new mobile game called Blues and Reds, now available worldwide, aims to help researchers study int ...

A major Lancet Commission report, a three-year project headed by UM’s Professor Felicia Knaul and co ...

With a $6.8 million NIH grant, the UM School of Nursing and Health Studies and FIU Robert Stempel Co ...

The Hurricanes grabbed four interceptions and another ACC victory as they defeated Syracuse, 27-19, ...

The Miami women's tennis team split its eight matches on its second day of competition at the I ...

As a Hurricane Club member, you are invited to participate in the 25th Annual University of Miami Ha ...

Syracuse visits Miami on Saturday, October 21st at Hard Rock Stadium. ...

Thirty years ago, the 1987 Hurricanes achieved perfection. This weekend they are back where it all b ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.