V's Take

Dear V: Am I in denial?

Dear V,

There’s a guy I’ve grown close to who always teases me. It’s gotten to the point where others have wondered whether we’re going to just get on with it and pounce on each other. I keep denying any sort of feelings, but they all continue to persist. I think he doesn’t like me in that way. He’s a flirt, he always has to be right and would never go for a girl like me. Should I make a move? Do I even like him? Am I back playing this middle school game?

Sincerely,

In Denial

Dear In Denial,

As we all know the whole dating game can be a bitch. There are always mixed signals that someone ends up giving off, leaving at least one if not both of the parties feeling confused. The situation you have found yourself in, while appearing to be very middle school, is nonetheless pretty common.

It’s hard to put yourself out there and to possibly let yourself be vulnerable. Humor is often the best means to fight this problem and laugh off any possible rejections that may come someone’s way. However, I’m not entirely sure if this is the case in your situation. You go on to question your own feelings concerning the idea of a relationship with this boy.

I can’t tell you how you actually feel about him and whether your feelings are legitimate or related to some boredom you are currently experiencing. If you come to realize that no real attraction exists on your account then just let the fun, flirty interactions you share play their course. Don’t feel pressured to like someone because your friends think they see something between you. It is possible for men and women to have platonic relationships, so this could very well be all that this is.

On the other hand, if you are honest with yourself and discover that you actually do like Mr. Flirt then by all means go for it honey. Stop focusing on how you think you aren’t the type of girl he would typically be interested in. The idea that people only go for one kind of person in the physical sense shouldn’t deter you from trying to pursue something with him. You could be that breath of fresh air he has needed in his life.

Don’t focus on being in a “middle school” predicament. Flirting in general is similar to acting like a 13 year old; that’s why it’s fun to begin with! Continue to be your friendly lovable self and it is only a matter of time before the sparks fly!

If the waiting game has become too much then be more vocal and a little more obvious.  My best advice is to bring up the talk amongst your friends and see his reaction.  He can’t be that oblivious.  Best of luck in your future love affair.

With love,

V

April 23, 2011

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.