Edge

Laughable ‘Riding Hood’ taints the legend

flickr.com

I saw the best actors of my generation destroyed by madness. “Red Riding Hood,” director Catherine Hardwicke’s first film since introducing the world of cinema to the travesty that is “Twilight,” shows that these insane actors- many of them award winners and nominees respected the world over- are willing to do absolutely anything for a paycheck.
Case in point: “Red Riding Hood” might be the worst movie in recent memory. It isn’t even one of those lowbrow comedies that pander to the lowest common denominator, fully aware of how bad they are. This film is just plain horrific. No one seems to make the slightest bit of effort, not the actors, the screenwriter (shame on you, David Johnson) and certainly not Hardwicke.
“Red Riding Hood” could have been high on camp, which would have made it slightly redeemable, but no. No one even tried. This is “Little Red Riding Hood” for the “Twilight” generation, and even junior Katie Bocksel, my good friend and a proud fan of terrible movies and supernatural love triangles, couldn’t stomach this film. If Katie can’t handle a film, then you really know it’s bad.
Amanda Seyfried proved herself to be a deft comedienne in “Mean Girls,” but if her performance as the Red Riding Hood-esque protagonist is any indication of her dramatic abilities, she should really just stick to comedy. I’ll refrain from saying too much about Julie Christie and Gary Oldman’s performances, except to ask “why, God, why?” Any good will that Oldman earned with me while playing Sirius Black in the “Harry Potter” series is now gone, and I’d like to request that Christie’s Academy Award be revoked.
The one bright spot in the film is the son of the outrageously sexy Jeremy Irons, actor Max Irons. He is not terrible- one could not possibly find a good performance coming from anyone in this film- and he is certainly handsome enough to forge a career of his own. One complaint, however, is that Irons spends little to no time with his shirt off. Hardwicke missed a golden opportunity with that one. I hope the director’s cut involves an extended segment featuring a shirtless Irons. Throw me a bone, Hardwicke.
As I said earlier, this movie had the opportunity to present its own version of a campy, fractured fairy tale. The opportunity was completely squandered. “Red Riding Hood” is high on melodrama without much payoff and features plot holes the size of an ocean. At least the scenery is pretty. That was a high point.
If you still have any interest in seeing the horrifically, hilariously bad “Red Riding Hood,” I must recommend that you imbibe first (legal readers only!). Drink something, anything, and don’t expect anything to make sense. Just laugh at the mess in front of you and don’t give it too much thought.

Sarah B. Pilchick may be contacted at sbpilchick@themiamihurricane.com.

Rating: 0.5/4 stars

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Gary Oldman, Max Irons

Directed By: Catherine Hardwicke

MPAA Rating: PG-13

March 24, 2011

Reporters

Sarah B. Pilchick

Senior EDGE Writer


ONE COMMENT ON THIS POST To “Laughable ‘Riding Hood’ taints the legend”

Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Miami coach Jim Larranaga is staying on the Hurricanes while they keep piling up wins. Dewan Huell h ...

Shakey Rodriguez, the Miami high school basketball coaching legend, vividly remembers the first time ...

It was a good day for the Miami Hurricanes basketball team. They moved up to No. 6 in the AP Top 25 ...

Erykah Davenport and Shaneese Bailey made key plays back-to-back late in the game and four players s ...

1. MARLINS: Jeter's Fish trade Gordon. Stanton next?: While others spend -- like the Angels to ...

William W. Sandler Jr. Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Education earns national recognition for it ...

Retired baseball star Alex Rodriguez gives "Major League" advice to UM’s fall graduating c ...

Becoming the Man of the Hour ...

Always a little bit of a flair for the dramatic. ...

A scholarship created by retired Major League Baseball star Alex Rodriguez and born out of his love ...

Dewan Huell recorded his second double-double of the season as Miami improved to 9-0 with a 59-50 wi ...

The Miami Hurricanes football team hosted the 2017 Football Awards Show at Gusman Hall on the Univer ...

The Miami women's basketball team begins play at the Puerto Rico Classic Monday against Sacrame ...

The University of Miami women's basketball team capped its seven-game homestand with a 79-31 wi ...

University of Miami senior wide receiver Braxton Berrios earned 2017 first-team 2017 CoSIDA Academic ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.