Dear V

Dear V: To be or not to be number three…

Dear V,

I’ve always known my best friend is bi and it’s never been an issue. She’s been married to her husband for a year now and recently they approached me to see if I wanted to have a threesome with them. It’s just interesting because I consider myself straight, but I find myself strangely intrigued by the idea of banging them both. I have no clue what to do because now I am even starting to question my own sexuality. I don’t want to hurt their feelings, but I also don’t want our friendship to be weird now.

What do I do?

Sincerely,
Torn Trifecta Temptress

Dear Temptress,

I will be the first to tell you that it is okay to explore your sexuality (what a surprise right?). I have never been in your situation before or necessarily want to, but I will say I cannot really blame you for being kind of curious. To further clarify, I do not mean that I am necessarily against threesomes, just not into the gettin’ down-n-dirty with my bff and her hubby.
I don’t have any good friends that are married, but even picturing myself in the middle of my best friend and her significant other is slightly frightening. Get it in, do what you do, but I prefer to not hear my best friend since I was 9 and her sex moans. No thank you.
This is not meant to necessarily deter you from exploring your adventurous side. If you honestly want to engage in the deed and be this couple’s answer to its ménage a trois fantasy then go for it. You will definitely be treated to whatever you want because they will want you to make return guest visits. Be careful though, as you will not know from which direction you are getting it next. Might I suggest protective eye gear for a first-timer like you as it could be b-a-n-a-n-a-s.
If you are really not into the idea and are just contemplating it to avoid awkwardness with your best friend, I don’t think you need to worry all too much. I believe the Awkward Ship began its voyage when she asked if you wanted to sleep with her and her husband. Kindly say no thank you, but you’re flattered and then continue on your little adorable way.
In regards to you questioning your sexuality, let me ask you a question: Prior to this possible opportunity, have you ever thought of a woman seriously in that way? Yes? Then yeah, you may have caught the vagina bug. No? Then you are just contemplating exploring your inner freak. It’s up to you to embrace it.

With love,

V

Have a question for V? Hit up DearV@themiamihurricane.com.

March 9, 2011

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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