Dear V

Dear V: Am I the next Monica Lewinsky?

Dear V,

I’m madly in love with the newly elected Student Government President, but he has no idea… What should I do?


SG Groupie

Dear SG Groupie,

Slow down, Monica Lewinsky, slow down. I obviously do not know all the details of the situation, but it sounds like you have the “You’re in power, now I want you” syndrome. I mean, it happens. Do not be ashamed. We are genetically programmed to want people we know take care of us. And the prestige that goes along with it doesn’t hurt either. Miss Lewinsky herself pretty much caused the permanent tainting of Bill Clinton’s name.

Not just any bitch gets a scandal named for her, after all.

Shortly after her romp with Billy became public knowledge, he got impeached!

Don’t be a groupie. I know rappers love them and all, but no offense to Mr. Mitchell (Brandon, you’re my homie)- he’s not exactly Lil’ Wayne. Don’t be one of those groupie hos that rappers make their money blowing about. Well, unless all of a sudden our lovely president starts spitting out rhymes… If you have suddenly found yourself longing for him, it’s not legit.

On the other hand, if you have liked him for a time prior to his successes, it is a completely different story, and let me be the first to apologize for making any types of assumptions. I advise you to not let his new powerful position deter you from attempting to pursue something you have been wanting. Some of the best advice I can give you is to show interest in things he is interested in.

How about his platforms and what he wants to do for our university? That would be a great starting point. Show that you care about things he is passionate about; trust me, it will mean a lot to him. The most important thing though is to be true to you. It’s not worth your time to be someone you’re not. I think it is easy to see that he is a nice guy, so you probably don’t have anything to worry about. Continue being his friend and let things happen. If it’s meant to be it will develop into something more than just friendship.

In the meantime don’t try to rush anything. I’m sure Brandon has a lot on his plate right now, exciting and nerve-wracking all at once. Let him get his new position down before you start bombarding him with your sex appeal. Bro can only handle so much at a time.

With love,


Have a question for V? Hit up

February 27, 2011



Advice Columnist

3 COMMENTS ON THIS POST To “Dear V: Am I the next Monica Lewinsky?”

  1. Will says:

    Brandon Mitchell….the president of HITTIN DAT ASS

    les go son

  2. moonman12 says:

    Yeah the most important thing you should do is to be “true to you”! hahahaha.
    Nothing like some good post election SG humor. I like it.

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