I feel safe writing under anonymity, but merely typing these words is still difficult. I have been in college for five years now, and that is an entirely different conversation. As a freshman and even ‘til now I have been in emotional gridlock, frustrated with the fact that I can’t seem to find a decent young lady who appreciates me as much as I would appreciate her. I’m a better looking Jonah Hill at 5’11”, very athletic 212 pounds, quiet but polite and I have a job that exposes me to many new and same faces and a major that eats up all my time. However, to be honest, I feel very awkward in this school. Everywhere I go I get this sense of detachment from the students I see out and about. And when I meet a beautiful girl the feeling comes back, and I’m stuck with no idea how to connect with her. I’ve tried making friends without ulterior motives only to be ridiculed, I’ve made bold moves in asking them out only to be left standing in the rain with flowers so to speak. How I can end this?
Dear Hopeless Romantic,
Awwww. You sound like a very nice guy who appears to be having the “nice guy syndrome,” at least when it comes to talking to girls. I’m sure you are not hideous and you sound like you have a pretty good sense of humor and personality, so why be afraid?
Women are not terrifying. Well, maybe some, but not all. Don’t be worried about talking to someone you are interested in and believe you can make a connection with. Believe it or not females typically have good intentions. No one will be outright mean to you even if they aren’t interested.
And honestly, what’s the worst that can happen? She tells you she’s not interested? Well my boy, on to the next one!
The deeper issue here appears to be that you are not fully comfortable with who you are. Insecurities often lie at the root of the feelings you are having. Be happy with who you are and who you have become your past five years at the U.
No one else is quite like you. Think about all the things you are good at. Maybe you are the funniest guy in your group of friends or an awesome ultimate frisbee player. Maybe you play a sick guitar. Focus on your positive qualities. Whatever you do don’t try to be what everyone else wants you to be. That’s no fun.
I’m sure Jonah Hill is someone’s dream man, so I’m sure you won’t have an issue.
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