Dear V

Dear V: I’m not the babe on the side…

Dear V,

I feel more Marilyn Monroe than Jackie O. Over half of the men who hit on me happen to be in relationships. I don’t hit on men. I don’t wander the scene when I’m out, exuding some sort of “I’m the babe on the side” aura. I don’t even dress like a slut! And yet, I am repeatedly finding myself receiving drinks or being entertained by taken dudes. I would laugh it off, but it’s happened so much this past year that I’m becoming quite frustrated. What is a single lady to do?


Seeking Single Stud

Dear Seeking,

Interesting problem you seem to be having. I’ve always heard about it, but have never really witnessed your issue firsthand. Well, on the bright side, at least you are getting hit on and getting the associated wine-and-dine perks. It’s not your fault some men are skeez balls. I’m sure you’re not exuding an “easy mistress” façade or anything of that nature. If you are being true to yourself when you are meeting new potential lovelies, then there is nothing else you can really ask for.

I actually don’t think it’s you at all. Maybe it is the establishments you find yourself at in the wee hours of the night. Typically, the most upstanding gents are not roaming the bars and clubs with their posse on Saturday nights.

Ever heard the song “Jumpin’, Jumpin’” by a group I like to call Destiny’s Child? To quote the lovely Beyoncé, Michelle, and Kelly, “And all you fellas leave your girl with her friends ’cause it’s 11:30 and the club is jumpin’, jumpin.’”

Peer pressure still exists in adult men, and it’s sad to say they will often give into it regardless of relationship status. So go to the clubs, have fun, get drinks, but don’t bank on finding Mr. Right in the middle of a hot sweaty dance floor. Go to other places you enjoy that are focused on other things than getting some: restaurants, coffee shops, bowling alleys.

You are more likely to find single, actually single, men at these places. Join an organization for something that you are interested in, get a new hobby- anything to put yourself out there in a good and positive manner. There are real single men out there, and some of them are even worth talking to. You just have to find a new hot spot. In the meantime, work your sex appeal and get free stuff with what your mama gave ya.

Nothing wrong with some free drinks.

With love,


February 10, 2011



Advice Columnist

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