Dear V

Dear V: I think my BFF’s BF plays for the other team…

Dear V,

Last night I met my best friend’s new boyfriend. As soon as he opened his mouth I knew there was a problem. I think my best friend’s boyfriend is gay. She always has the worst luck with guys treating her badly and she has finally found one that she really likes, so I don’t want to burst her bubble, but I also don’t want to see her get hurt again, especially in a situation that she can avoid. What should I do? Should I say something or keep my mouth shut?

Bothered Best Friend

Dear Bothered Best Friend,

Oh boy this is interesting. I’m glad that she has finally found someone that makes her happy.

My first question for you would be is he really gay or is he maybe just a little metrosexual? Perhaps you have this guy figured all wrong. Just because he waves his arms around a lot, wears skinny jeans and has a slightly high-pitched voice doesn’t mean he’s gay. He could just be from an Italian family in New Jersey.

Take the time to get to know your best friend’s boyfriend better before you pass too much judgment. Through spending some more time with her and her boo perhaps you will grow to see why she likes him so much and maybe your views on their relationship will change. Although he may not be your type she might have finally found the right one for her and thus can avoid even more heartbreak.

On the other hand, let’s assume this guy is gay. My suggestion is to let your friend find out for herself. It is never a good idea to meddle in a friend’s relationship, especially when it comes to possibly outing her boyfriend. Just let her ride it out until her man figures out that what he really wants is another man for himself. The best thing you can do is be there for her when the breakup inevitably happens.

Make sure to have a pint of Cherry Garcia and a copy of “The Notebook” ready to go at all times because if he is gay, this will most likely happen sooner than later. Remember to tell your friend it is not her fault and to not give on finding the guy of her dreams. There is a straight man out there for every girl. Ten years from now she will probably look back at this situation and laugh.

Who knows, her boyfriend may even become one of her best friends! What you need to do right now though is sit it out on the sidelines and wait until you’re called in. When your friend needs you, she will let you know.

With Love,


Have a question for V? Hit up or on Twitter at @Dear_V.

January 30, 2011



Advice Columnist

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