Dear V

Dear V: Should I go along with that kind of PDA?

Dear V,

My boyfriend and I want to spice up our sex life a bit and we have been kind of talking out some of our fantasies that we’d like to try. While I suggested chocolate syrup, frilly pink handcuffs and some new positions – he seemed to be more interested in trying out public sex. I’m all for being an exhibitionist and trying new things, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. Should I go ahead with it?

Shrub Shaker

My Dear Shrub Shaker,

I understand your hesitation about trying something new and unexplored. It is always a bit overwhelming to embark on a new journey that is your sex life. However, I’ve always said that you should never write something off until you try it!

Now, this is something that you should take at your own pace and comfort level, but I feel that it is something you should try nonetheless. “But why?” you may ask. “Why would  V encourage such illicit behavior?” or “Why would V encourage me to subject my lady bits to the elements?” It’s simple: the pure, unadulterated eroticism that it can produce.

You and your boyfriend are attempting to recreate a spark and, in doing so, jumpstart your sex life once more. Well, an outdoor rendez-vous does wonders for raising your inhibitions and adrenaline level. Whether you choose to cozy up on the beach, in a park, in a public restroom or on the balcony of a friend’s apartment while your friends are inside getting ready for a Thursday night you – Phew! I seem to have gone on a bit of a tangent! Regardless, the overall depiction can still be made clear: It can be quite hot.

While I am in no way condoning the subjecting of others to your slice-a-kink, I do encourage people to indulge themselves in the bliss that is sex (always safely) whenever and wherever possible.

So please, mull over the idea of taking your boyfriend up on his offer, if you feel so inclined, and plan it accordingly. Don’t lay out a routine, but perhaps surprise him one evening on an outing with a temptation that he simply couldn’t refuse. It would certainly add an element of mystery and romance back into the relationship and hopefully engage you both once more.

If you decide that it is not for you, then you can at least say, with certainty, that it is not something you wish to repeat. If it sticks, however, you might end up releasing your inner beast back into the wild throws of intense sexual encounters.

Play safe and play hard,


Got a question for V? V may be contacted at

November 3, 2010



Advice Columnist

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