Strange Audience Habits

I will never understand why certain people endure the entire length of a movie that is objectively bad (of course art is subjective, but Transformers 2 is crap and not art — unless you consider mass theft to be an art form) and will never crack a smile or look involved throughout, but they will fight to the death for argument’s sake afterwards that they were extremely satisfied.

If a friend and I go to the movies, see a slapstick comedy, and I don’t hear my friend let out a single chuckle, it’s safe to assume in most instances the film was not a hit. Spinning the story and saying that you enjoyed the movie is comical on its own; denial in addition to spreading denial is far from the best coping mechanism in defense of wasted money and time that can never be recovered.

Also, why do people give big blockbuster films standing ovations and thunderous applause when the credits roll? Unless you’re at the red carpet premiere, none of the cast and crew is in the audience, so you are effectively clapping at a silver screen. If you really wanted to show your appreciation, you could try to contact the filmmakers or the distribution company for providing you with the film in your area.

If that’s unattainable, you could drive by the movie theatre on another day, pay for another ticket for the movie you’ve already seen and enjoyed but don’t have interest in seeing again, and leave immediately — the tipping equivalent for the entertainment industry. This may be strange, but at least it’s not as strange as being ostentatiously joyous after sitting in a dark room for two and a half hours with other average Joes of questionable hygiene.

Most of all, I always wonder for sports fans: if you were watching a football game by yourself, would you be as rowdy and involved as you normally would when around friends? Likely not, unless your sanity is questionable or unless the game is so close (with bets on the line), you are actually very invested in the outcome and on the edge of your seat.

Evan Seaman is a senior majoring in marketing. He may be contacted at eseaman@themiamihurricane.com.