Dear V

Dear V: Should my STD scare stop my sexy side?

Dear V,


I’m currently single and loving it. However, I recently had a run in with an STD scare and I haven’t been able to get myself back in the game. I feel that perhaps I was a bit too trusting with guys that I’ve had sex with in the past few months and seem to put myself in relatively risky positions in the heat of the moment, and even give into the notion that pulling out is a sufficient precaution. The passion seems to just knock out my senses. What can I do to avoid this in the future and will this fear subside?


Frisky but Fearful


Dear Frisky,

Well I can say with some experience that any run in with what may appear to be an STD is enough to keep your pants up and your legs closed for a good period of time. But it should be no reason to call it quits permanently.

While it cannot be said 100 percent of the time, many times people have their own poor choices and lack of proper precautions to blame with the development of any kind of STD. I’ve heard friends recount numerous tales of how they narrowly escaped the grasp of the ominous clap or barely missed a run in with the dreaded herp’. However, with these stories has come the clarity that many of these near ‘victims’ only landed in that situation because when it came down to getting ‘down’, and had as much sense as a rock.

So I do sympathize with your new-found fear to get back out there. But, in reality, you will continue to face run ins like this unless you play it safe. Now I am in no way telling you to tone down your inner freak. In fact, I encourage you to continue to develop and strengthen the beast within – just do it sensibly.

I feel as if I’m back in an elementary class giving a lecture on sexual development and protection. But I guess you were absent those days? Because you seem to lack the common knowledge that methods such as ‘pulling-out’ won’t protect the misses downstairs from acquiring a whole slew of nasty infestations. You need to put your health first and foremost. While the passion of the moment can be intoxicating, a lasting scare from your prince-charming should be an even larger thought to grasp.

Don’t assume that anyone is going to be upfront about their health status, just ensure that you will not play without protection.

So please, pardon my curtness. You can still enjoy your sexual side – just make sure to leave in the common sense when the clothes come flying off.

Best of Luck,


October 24, 2010



Advice Columnist

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