I really hate when I’m out, attempting to make moves on a girl and one of her friends in the group who is lacking any stimulation or flirtation for the night hones in and decides to be the bearer of her own, conjured bad news.
“Yeah my friend isn’t interested, so you best step off” is something this person would likely say, taking all her pent-up, accumulated anger out on me for innocently showing genuine interest in her friend, who was otherwise receptive up until that point.
Maybe this is just a part of the “weeding out” process, like organic chemistry for those on the pre-med track, to see how I react under pressure, but somehow I doubt it- these women are loaded and ready for a fight over anything, even non-issues.
It hasn’t just happened to me either; I’ve seen it happen to other people in other settings. The person who lays into you is most likely just angry about not doing well in classes, not getting much attention, feels she is contributing to some delusional form of loyalty by being a cock block or a combination of all of the above.
But, if the girl really wasn’t interested, and her friend says it’s best to “step off,” why wouldn’t she just tell me herself or give some kind of hint through conversation or body language? These people on unneeded power trips need to be stopped before they isolate themselves from their friends and the opposite sex if it isn’t already too late. They’re dangerously infectious too, because if people start doing this and see it’s effective as a form of displacement (a punching bag tactic), others who are having an off night might try it out, and find one can be successful at telling off the wrong people for the wrong reasons. This usually results in some erroneous and sickeningly cathartic feeling.
Also, I never knew it was so offensive to flirt with somebody’s friends. You’d think it would actually be a high form of honor that I have deemed her acquaintances worthy of the flirty fight. So next time, you’re right, I will “step off,” and instead of being nice to a group of your friends, I should be outrageously crude, and act as a ‘roid-raging drinking machine who belches in your face and farts in the presence of women. By your reversed logic, that would be a gracious act of kindness.
Evan Seaman is a senior majoring in marketing. He may be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.