Dear V,
I recently broke up with my now ex-boyfriend and feel as if my life has improved in so many ways. I’ve been enjoying my newfound freedom to the fullest extent. No longer do I hold back from going out because I know my ex wants to stay in. I also feel like I’ve been able to explore my new sexual desires with a whole different breed of guys in Miami. I feel as though I’m experiencing a whole other side of myself and not feeling some strong attachment to these various guys. I’m enjoying my youth, but my close friends think I’m losing control. I try to brush them off, but I’m worried if they’re right – am I just being paranoid or are they on to something?
Sincerely
Footloose and Fancy Free
Dear Footloose,
I think this is an “issue,” if it can be called such, that many people who are reintroduced to the dating scene face.
Often, when you are placed into a completely different scenario, you don’t know what to do with your new lifestyle. While I do encourage you to embrace what brings you contentment, you must remember that moderation is key.
Perhaps your friends are onto something. It’s great to live a carefree life, but it seems as though you are living a life that makes you less “footloose,” but rather simply “loose.” I’m not trying to chastise you or instruct you on how to behave. I am simply asking you to reflect on some of your past ventures and see if your friends may actually have your best interest close at heart.
After all, why else would you be second guessing your own actions?
I suggest you bring down the dial on the level of strange you’ve been subjecting yourself to – simply for health reasons, as well as maintaining a level of respect for yourself.
A healthy sex life does not equate to countless sexual escapades with random strangers. In fact (use your common sense here, Fancy Free), random casual encounters are completely counterintuitive to a healthy sex life.
But, keep in mind, I’m simply offering you suggestions here, not directions.
So while I do encourage you to revel in your youth and embrace the big “O,” just remember that you’re trying to graduate with a broadened mind and a degree – not a run in with Hep C and slew of UTI’s under your belt.
Play Safe,
V