Dear V,
I joined CougarLife.com about 8 months ago in search of some older women. I’ve been fairly successful and have had a few encounters here and there, but one woman in particular has piqued my interest. Her experience is mind boggling and she is always ready to go. We’ve begun to hook up everywhere from her car to her office… at this university. I had never seen her on campus and had no idea she was a faculty member until a few days ago. Is her employment really a big deal? Or can we keep our lustful relationship alive?
Sincerely,
Confused Cub
My Dear Confused Cubby,
I understand the worry and strife that must be confounding you at the moment – for I too was in your shoes at one point. That being said, I understand your reasoning for wanting to remain in this relationship with said individual. However, when coming up with a suitable answer for you, I feel there are many areas that need to be addressed.
Firstly, the rules and guidelines for interpersonal relationships between faculty members and students. ‘How Close is too Close?’: I can see a Lifetime Channel movie in the making now. If this faculty member is in no way an authoritative figure at the university and has no input or say in regards to your academic success, then a relationship does seem feasible.
So, hypothetically speaking, if there is no legal infraction at hand, then another area needs to be addressed. Specifically, you’ll possibly be in classes taught by your new hubby’s close friends and colleagues and therefore the dynamic within the classroom and the professional setting between this platonic teacher-student relationship could be altered; for better or for worse. Consider this: How might the friends of an “ex” treat you once they found out you hurt the corazon of their close comrade? Now imagine these friends had power over whether or not you could pass their course and graduate on time.
Things to consider, my friend.
Let’s step out of the doldrums of worst-case scenario and bask ourselves in the light of positivity. You have found an individual with whom you have an intense sexual attraction, someone that you would classify as your “type,” and – most importantly – someone that you met in a very common and normal fashion (having no prior concept that you two were already connected within the constructs of a university). Following that last notion, I would suggest continuing to see this individual.
Let’s face it, you are young and this is your time to enjoy life without the full stresses of life (a concept I encourage all readers to consider); therefore, enjoy this person’s company, revel in the sex and see what happens next – just as you would with any other relationship. Life passes us by far too quickly for my liking and I personally feel that we spend too much of that time letting doubt or fear into our minds. Don’t let this be one of those times.
While I do suggest a level of discretion here, I also encourage enjoying it to the full extent.
On a brief side note, while I do not feel that I am in any position to lecture on the locations you chose to engage in your lustful one-on-one encounters, do remember that our university gives Fort Knox a run for its money in terms of its security cameras. While I’m sure we’ve all given thought to capturing a fling on some “hidden” camera, I can assure you these are not the ones to try out such fantasies.
Play safe,
V