Dear V

Dear V: ‘Eqqus’ isn’t really my thing…

Dear V,

I have always been an avid horse lover. I’m from a rural town in Ohio and have been riding since before I can remember. To keep up with my passion here at UM, I sometimes go riding on weekends. However, last month something interesting happened. Somewhere between a trot and a canter a click went off in my pituitary gland and I began to get quite aroused. I didn’t know what to do but I shrugged it off as one of those ‘phantom erections.’ But then it happened to me again two weekends ago and I couldn’t get it out of my head for days. Anyways, last Thursday I ran into a very attractive acquaintance of mine from class. She is a cute little brunette with dark eyes and I have always had a thing for her. I guess I played my cards right and we ended up going back to my room. Unfortunately, I was unable to “get the engine going,” so she left, and I felt pathetic and ashamed. I couldn’t help but think about those equestrian stiffies. Do you think there is a relation between these horse incidents and this sudden impotency? Is something about this really wrong?I’m pretty freaked out and it’s been on my mind since it happened. Please give me some advice on what I should do and what I should say to her.

Hope to hear from you,

Equus

Whoaaaa Nellie!

Before you get too far ahead of yourself and freak out, you need to break down both situations.

What is it about your time in the saddle that turns you on?  Is it the fresh air?  The smell?  The up-and-down movement?  Or do the leather chaps just make you feel sexy?  You could just be excited by all of the power and control you get when you mount up and grab the reins of a mighty beast.

Perhaps the incidents of the pony boners and your bedroom embarrassment are unrelated. You could have just been having an off night (it happens).  And if you’re busy worrying about your pals of a different species, it is no wonder you can’t get turned on—your mind is in a completely different place.

Maybe it was something about your new lady friend that isn’t really working out for you. While the little brunette may be cute, she might not be your type.  If you are having a difficult time with this one, let her go.  Not all crushes are successful.

Someone else could come trotting along whom you could mount and ride without any issue.

Best of luck!

V

August 18, 2010

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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