I have been with my boyfriend for nearly three years. I love and trust him, but we have one squabble in the bedroom: he wants to film us having sex. He promises he’ll give the only copy to me. But I feel pretty uncomfortable about it. He says it will be incredibly erotic and that I should loosen up. What should I do?
Dear Camera Shy,
This is definitely something to be cautious about. He can assure you that you’ll have the only copy, but how can you really be so positive? If there’s even a chance that he could keep another copy for himself, you could be in for big trouble down the road. Yes, he may just watch it for personal use, but what if you all have a terrible break up and his bitterness gets the best of him? You can never be sure what will happen to that video and you sure as hell don’t want to end up like Paris Hilton. I’m sure you two have a great sex life but no one besides you needs to see it.
Being cautious about your privacy isn’t the only issue here. Having sex with someone you love is a private, personal experience and it’s understandable that you don’t want to risk it being publicized. Your boyfriend should respect that you don’t share all the same urges as he does. I’m sure he doesn’t go to every chick flick you want to see and you shouldn’t feel pressured to do everything he wants either.
Filming acts in the bedroom is not as common as he makes it sound by telling you to “loosen up.” It’s not as though every other couple on the planet is going crazy with their video cameras, documenting every sexual escapade.
If you eventually feel comfortable enough to make your own personal sexumentary, there is nothing wrong with that. Just make it very clear to your boyfriend how important it is to you that it be kept absolutely private and make sure he keeps his word on giving you the only copy.
Another alternative is to compromise and give him another option that allows for a similar viewing experience. Try getting more mirrors for your bedroom, even place one on the ceiling above your bed. This will give you both a 360 degree view of each other in the act, much like a movie. Best part is, this movie has VIP admission, for you and your boyfriend’s eyes only.
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