Dear V

DEAR V: I’m afraid my wiggle might not work with out that jiggle….

Dear V,

I am having a problem. I’ve been dating this girl for two years. We are very happy together and the sex is great. The problem I’m having is that my girlfriend, who previously weighed 300 pounds, is going on a diet.  I love her, her personality and really love having sex with her fat folds. I especially like watching her jiggle as she orgasms. Since she started her diet she has been losing a lot of weight, but now she is losing the delicious folds that always used to pleasure me. I’m losing sexual interest in her. Am I a bad person? Should I give up on my relationship, or should I just stay in the relationship despite my lack of sexual interest?

Yours Truly,
Fat Folds Five

Dear Fat Folds Five,

I must say your question is a first, but as always I’m happy to help with your worries. I would definitely not suggest giving up on this relationship. While you say the sex is great, I’m sure other parts of relationship are also special if you’ve been going strong for two years. Don’t lose sight of the other things that you love about your girlfriend. It takes a lot of courage to go on a diet and stick with it, and if you really love her, you should be proud that she’s changing her lifestyle to better herself as a person. Although the effects of this weight loss might be bringing down your libido, you should try to support her in her endeavors.

As for the heart of the matter, the longer this dieting continues, the more it seems your sexual interest continues to dwindle. This doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, you’ve just gotten used to a certain way of getting off and now may have to try something new. While it  sounds as though these folds rubbed you the right way,  I’m sure there are other things you can try that may be equally as pleasureful. There may also be  many new positions you could try now that your lady is feeling lighter.

Don’t abandon ship yet. I can’t imagine these folds were the only thing keeping you around for the past few years. Relationships and sex lives are tough, but I have faith you two will find new ways to have fun together.  As she loses weight her confidence will grow, something that can be even sexier than that jiggle you once loved.


February 28, 2010



Advice Columnist

ONE COMMENT ON THIS POST To “DEAR V: I’m afraid my wiggle might not work with out that jiggle….”

  1. Psycrow says:

    This just seals the deal. Either you don’t realize that half of your stories are fake or you’re just too stupid to realize it.

    Have fun with your little teeny-bopper advice column; we all get a laugh at the idiocracy.

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