My boyfriend and I are both seniors and have been together since pretty much the beginning of freshman year. We’re madly in love and there’s never a dull moment in bed. Now that graduation is fast approaching, I feel like it’s time to start thinking about the “next step.” One night I mentioned the possibility of marriage to him, and he got all awkward and quiet. Since then, whenever we try and get it on, he either has trouble getting it up, or he goes flaccid in the middle. Should I not have mentioned this? Did I do something wrong? How do I fix this? Do you think that our relationship is doomed?? Help me!
Chick chewing on her foot
Dear Foot Chewer,
Take a deep breath, there is no reason to think your relationship is headed off the deep end. Honestly, I think it’s perfectly natural to bring up the scary topic in your situation- you all have been together for awhile and if you’re as in love as you say you are, why would you want to stop dating? Your boy’s reaction, however, is also very normal and to be expected, as most men this age run from commitment like the plague.
As a result of this fear, it can be a natural reaction to have some… unexpected shortcomings in the bedroom. Strong emotions can display themselves in physical ways, much like it seems you’re dealing with. Unless something else is also affecting him (which is unlikely considering the timing), what you said has probably had some affect on his man parts. This doesn’t mean, however, that you shouldn’t have mentioned it, or that you did anything wrong. This is clearly an issue that you felt needed discussing and as a couple “madly in love” you two should be able to discuss it.
If the topic really did make him uncomfortable, tell him to relax and not worry about it just yet. You don’t want just thinking about what could happen down the road to ruin the time you have together right now. Once he relaxes and stops worrying about everything, all parts should be back to normal.
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