Dear V

Dear V: My guy’s junk is in a funk

Dear V,

My boyfriend and I are both seniors and have been together since pretty much the beginning of freshman year. We’re madly in love and there’s never a dull moment in bed. Now that graduation is fast approaching, I feel like it’s time to start thinking about the “next step.” One night I mentioned the possibility of marriage to him, and he got all awkward and quiet. Since then, whenever we try and get it on, he either has trouble getting it up, or he goes flaccid in the middle. Should I not have mentioned this? Did I do something wrong? How do I fix this? Do you think that our relationship is doomed?? Help me!

Chick chewing on her foot

Dear Foot Chewer,

Take a deep breath, there is no reason to think your relationship is headed off the deep end. Honestly, I think it’s perfectly natural to bring up the scary topic in your situation- you all have been together for awhile and if you’re as in love as you say you are, why would you want to stop dating? Your boy’s reaction, however, is also very normal and to be expected, as most men this age run from commitment like the plague.

As a result of this fear, it can be a natural reaction to have some… unexpected shortcomings in the bedroom. Strong emotions can display themselves in physical ways, much like it seems you’re dealing with. Unless something else is also affecting him (which is unlikely considering the timing), what you said has probably had some affect on his man parts.  This doesn’t mean, however, that you shouldn’t have mentioned it, or that you did anything wrong. This is clearly an issue that you felt needed discussing and as a couple “madly in love” you two should be able to discuss it.

If the topic really did make him uncomfortable, tell him to relax and not worry about it just yet. You don’t want just thinking about what could happen down the road to ruin the time you have together right now. Once he relaxes and stops worrying about everything, all parts should be back to normal.

Best,

V

Have a question for V? Hit up DearV@themiamihurricane.com.

February 10, 2010

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

A six-pack of Canes notes on a Thursday: • Defensive coordinator Manny Diaz has an interesting theor ...

Juwan Dowels vividly remembers his first winter on the Syracuse University campus. Like the other 11 ...

The University of Miami football team has another player with a season-ending injury — and this one ...

University of Miami men’s basketball coach Jim Larrañaga received a grand jury subpoena for his phon ...

Get ready for an avalanche of University of Miami defensive backs and linemen descending on the Hard ...

Univeristy of Miami’s Wynwood Art Gallery holds its annual faculty exhibition featuring thought-prov ...

From a game simulating how whales navigate to a tribute to Ella Fitzgerald, the U showcased some of ...

A new mobile game called Blues and Reds, now available worldwide, aims to help researchers study int ...

A major Lancet Commission report, a three-year project headed by UM’s Professor Felicia Knaul and co ...

With a $6.8 million NIH grant, the UM School of Nursing and Health Studies and FIU Robert Stempel Co ...

The Miami soccer team registered a 3-0 victory over Pittsburgh Thursday night at Cobb Stadium behind ...

Five members of the Miami women's tennis team will open play Friday at the ITA Southeast Region ...

As a Hurricane Club member, you are invited to participate in the 25th Annual University of Miami Ha ...

Here are three matchups to watch Saturday as the Hurricanes take on the Syracuse Orange at Hard Rock ...

The University of Miami men's basketball team will begin the season as No. 12 in the USA TODAY ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.