V's Take

Dear V: My guy’s junk is in a funk

Dear V,

My boyfriend and I are both seniors and have been together since pretty much the beginning of freshman year. We’re madly in love and there’s never a dull moment in bed. Now that graduation is fast approaching, I feel like it’s time to start thinking about the “next step.” One night I mentioned the possibility of marriage to him, and he got all awkward and quiet. Since then, whenever we try and get it on, he either has trouble getting it up, or he goes flaccid in the middle. Should I not have mentioned this? Did I do something wrong? How do I fix this? Do you think that our relationship is doomed?? Help me!

Chick chewing on her foot

Dear Foot Chewer,

Take a deep breath, there is no reason to think your relationship is headed off the deep end. Honestly, I think it’s perfectly natural to bring up the scary topic in your situation- you all have been together for awhile and if you’re as in love as you say you are, why would you want to stop dating? Your boy’s reaction, however, is also very normal and to be expected, as most men this age run from commitment like the plague.

As a result of this fear, it can be a natural reaction to have some… unexpected shortcomings in the bedroom. Strong emotions can display themselves in physical ways, much like it seems you’re dealing with. Unless something else is also affecting him (which is unlikely considering the timing), what you said has probably had some affect on his man parts.  This doesn’t mean, however, that you shouldn’t have mentioned it, or that you did anything wrong. This is clearly an issue that you felt needed discussing and as a couple “madly in love” you two should be able to discuss it.

If the topic really did make him uncomfortable, tell him to relax and not worry about it just yet. You don’t want just thinking about what could happen down the road to ruin the time you have together right now. Once he relaxes and stops worrying about everything, all parts should be back to normal.

Best,

V

Have a question for V? Hit up DearV@themiamihurricane.com.

February 10, 2010

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

It’s the play Miami Hurricanes fans will never forget — and Florida State fans are trying to forget. ...

Miami Hurricanes fans might recall their favorite college football players in past years dreaming of ...

The new quarterback is usually the ones fans gush over. For the University of Miami, last season it ...

Debate all you want, but University of Miami football coach Mark Richt made it clearer than ever Wed ...

Last year, when University of Miami tailback Mark Walton attended the Atlantic Coast Conference Foot ...

UM dining services team earns national recognition for special event catering. ...

From hammerheads to great whites, University of Miami researcher Neil Hammerschlag is a dedicated sp ...

An ACLU report authored by UM sociologists documents racial and ethnic disparities in Miami-Dade Cou ...

Following the summit between Trump and Putin, reaction from politicians, pundits and former intellig ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

Miami senior Tyler Gauthier was named to the 2018 Fall Watch List for the Rimington Trophy presented ...

Miami junior wide receiver Ahmmon Richards was among those named to the watch list for the 2018 Bile ...

University of Miami junior running back Travis Homer was named a preseason candidate for the Doak Wa ...

Six former Canes competed on NBA Summer League teams, with three averaging at least 10 points per ga ...

Quick Hits gives University of Miami volleyball fans an opportunity to get to know the new student-a ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.