The Fame Monster limited edition

As if things couldn’t get any better with the end of the fall semester (no offense, professors), I woke up this morning to find that FedEx had delivered my “The Fame Monster” collector’s edition.

If you don’t know by now, Lady Gaga released eight new songs on Nov. 23, a year after her debut album, “The Fame,” came out. See, the new princess of pop had a lot to sing and write about having finally achieved fame and traveling the world.

Below is a track-by-track review and (hopefully) insight into what the heck she’s talking about.

Don’t forget to catch her in concert on New Year’s Eve or Jan. 2 at the James L. Knight Center in Downtown Miami. Or, if you have megabucks, enjoy her company poolside at the Fontainebleau to ring in the new year.

1) “Bad Romance”

The disc’s first single is always on the radio. Plus, the music video is crazy. Try not to watch it over and over again and learn the choreography. I dare you. And the sexual innuendo tribute to Alfred Hitchcock? Original.

Meaning: Fear of a bad romance, duh! But specifically between best friends, according to Gaga.

Memorable line: I want your psycho, your vertigo stick/Want you in my rear window, baby it’s sick

2) “Alejandro”

Get past the cheesy, old Hollywood-like talk in the beginning. This makes me think of Gaga’s version of Madonna’s “La Isla Bonita.” And that’s not a bad thing. What is bad: Hearing the name Fernando makes me think of the ABBA song…

Meaning: Fear of hot international men?

Memorable line: You know that I love you boy/Hot like Mexico rejoice

3) “Monster”

I won’t say what the “lady” said this song means. I’ll leave that for you to guess. What I will say is how amazing the 80s-inspired beat is. RedOne’s background vocals are a welcome flashback of “Just Dance.”

Meaning: Fear of a ____

Memorable line: I wanna just dance but he took me home instead/Uh oh, there was a monster in my bed

4) “Speechless”

This is clearly Stefani Germanotta’s Elton John moment. Written for her father who didn’t want to get the heart surgery that would save his life (he ended up getting it after hearing this song), it’s that good. You hear the emotion in her voice and it’s a nice break from the computer-generated tracks. She gets to show off her piano prowress (she’s played the instrument since the age of 4).

Meaning: Fear of her father dying

Memorable line: I’ll never love again/Oh boy you’ve left me speechless

Did I mention it came with a lock of her wig?!

5) “Dance in the Dark”

I love the historic pop culture name drops. Gaga is a student of the arts and uses their names as lyrics in her music. The song is no “Bad Romance,” but nice filler.

Meaning: Fear of insecurity – think carefully about “dancing in the dark”

Memorable line: Find your freedom in the music/Find your Jesus, find your Kubrick

6) “Telephone” (featuring Beyonce)

This is far better than “Video Phone,” so have no fear! It’s catchy and makes up a verb: telephoning. But that’s not a bad thing. Take it as a dance and party song you don’t have to think about.

Meaning: Fear of suffocation

Memorable line: Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station/Tonight I’m not taking no calls ’cause I’ll be dancing

7) “So Happy I Could Die”

Nothing really special here. It’s good, but it wouldn’t be a single, kind of like the second half of “The Fame.”

Meaning: Fear of alcoholism

Memorable line: I am as vain as I allow/I do my hair, I gloss my eyes/I touch myself all through the night

8) “Teeth”

I still don’t think I like it. Is it trying to be a country song? Did Gaga watch “Twilight” on loop? She references vampires and werewolves several times throughout the album. I really hope not for the sake of us all. It’s very animalistic with the line “show me your teeth.”

Meaning: Fear of lying

Memorable line: Take a bite of my bad girl meat/Show me your teeth

Back cover of the limited edition