Opinion

Segway security guards ridiculous

W

hile I can’t take issue with increased security and student employment on campus, I think students assuming the role of security guards, driving around on Segways, is laughable.

If there really is a security threat on campus, involving dangerous weapons or sketchy characters, is a kid on a Segway going to seem intimidating to the opposing forces? It’s difficult to take anyone on a Segway seriously when they use it out of what seems to be laziness and opposition to exercise. Has 2009 suddenly taken a turn and become a poorly executed version of Minority Report?

Even if Segways were implemented to cover ground more quickly, there are less ridiculous options such as patrol cars or bikes. Perhaps there would be a more inconspicuous way for students to help out UMPD. Approaching a situation on a Segway in a bright orange shirt gives perpetrators plenty of down time to escape or stop before they’re reported.

And if there is a security threat on campus, how can a student be of assistance when he or she is feet above my line of sight, zooming by on hot wheels? Am I supposed to flag the person down as if I were hailing a cab or should I gesture for a high five?

Even undercover work would be a more valiant initiative. Students could look and dress as if they weren’t on the job and report anything suspicious while casually walking around campus.

Furthermore, the budget must have been astronomical to order and distribute multiple “vehicles” to students. Even if casual patrolling by foot isn’t efficient enough, student security guards could at least ride bikes and embrace the 21st century with some dignity.

Evan Seaman is a junior majoring in marketing. He may be contacted at eseaman@themiamihurricane.com.


November 22, 2009

Reporters

Evan Seaman

Contributing Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

Miami coach Jim Larranaga is staying on the Hurricanes while they keep piling up wins. Dewan Huell h ...

Shakey Rodriguez, the Miami high school basketball coaching legend, vividly remembers the first time ...

It was a good day for the Miami Hurricanes basketball team. They moved up to No. 6 in the AP Top 25 ...

Erykah Davenport and Shaneese Bailey made key plays back-to-back late in the game and four players s ...

1. MARLINS: Jeter's Fish trade Gordon. Stanton next?: While others spend -- like the Angels to ...

William W. Sandler Jr. Center for Alcohol and Other Drug Education earns national recognition for it ...

Retired baseball star Alex Rodriguez gives "Major League" advice to UM’s fall graduating c ...

Becoming the Man of the Hour ...

Always a little bit of a flair for the dramatic. ...

A scholarship created by retired Major League Baseball star Alex Rodriguez and born out of his love ...

Dewan Huell recorded his second double-double of the season as Miami improved to 9-0 with a 59-50 wi ...

The Miami women's basketball team begins play at the Puerto Rico Classic Monday against Sacrame ...

The University of Miami women's basketball team capped its seven-game homestand with a 79-31 wi ...

University of Miami senior wide receiver Braxton Berrios earned 2017 first-team 2017 CoSIDA Academic ...

USA Diving announced the recipients of its annual awards at a ceremony in conjunction with the 2017 ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.