V's Take

Dear V: I like it “harder, better, faster, stronger…”

Dear V,

I recently discovered I like it rough, and I’m not talking about your run of the mill dirty talk. I like it “harder, better, faster, stronger…” just like the Daft Punk song. I’ve been having a little trouble finding Mr. “Right-Here-Right-Now,” especially as a result of these aforementioned needs. I recently started hooking up with this boy, Mohammed, and as you can extrapolate from the name, he has a certain religious affiliation: hence the dilemma. I don’t want to scare him away by being too aggressive, yet a girl has her needs, really URGENT ones.


The thing is, I don’t believe he as a problem with sex, it’s just the kinky part I’m afraid of. Would you think this is too much?

I recently tried with my previous hookup some bondage. If the relationship wasn’t going to tie me down, he damn well was going to. I was skeptical at first, but it was by far the best sexual encounter I’ve ever had. What did it for me wasn’t so much the bondage; it was the conglomeration of imprisonment and asphyxiation. When he put his hands around my neck and squeezed, the ecstasy was absolutely euphoric: the world was my oyster, and I was going to suck that b**** down with a champagne chaser. It was as if I was completely surrendering my body and soul to him, and that kind of intimacy I’ve never felt before.

So what should I do? Should I be honest with my desires and tell him? Or should I just cut my losses and not sacrifice what could be a meaningful relationship?

Much help needed,

Kinky Kleopatra


Dear Kleopatra,

Damn. You clearly know what you want, and you can’t argue with that.

Obviously, this “state of euphoria” you’ve described is something important to you. Why deprive yourself?

I assure you that for every “Kinky Kleopatra” that walks the face of the earth; there exists a “Just-as-Kinky Karl.” But I can also assure you that these aren’t easy to come across. Not everyone is as upfront as you are about their carnal priorities, so you’ll have to do a little digging.

Once you get to know someone well enough, you will each be comfortable showing each other your inner freak. Be patient. There is no need to sit him down to have the “I am sexually deviant” talk (which is just as awkward as it sounds).

If Mohammed turns out not to be Mr. Perfect—I mean Pervert, you need to ask yourself if this “meaningful relationship” means more to you than the sheer ecstasy of a mind-blowing experience between the sheets—I mean handcuffs. Then, act accordingly. But I think you and I both know the answer to that.

Best of luck!

V

November 22, 2009

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The Miami Hurricanes will have plenty of talent on both sides of the ball this season, and four play ...

Jesus Luzardo had yet to throw a single pitch as a professional baseball player in 2016 when he unde ...

Former Miami Hurricanes quarterback Robert Marve has been arrested in Hillsborough County on an out- ...

Mark Richt has led the Miami Hurricanes back into the national college football conversation during ...

University of Miami coach Mark Richt and his vaunted 2018 signing class, nicknamed #Storm18, should ...

Following the summit between Trump and Putin, reaction from politicians, pundits and former intellig ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

University of Miami law and political science professors weigh in on Trump’s SCOTUS nominee. ...

Research bioclimatologists with the UM Synoptic Climatology Lab counsel cities on how to manage risi ...

A UM-led study is examining how children’s play behavior at beaches could impact their health. ...

The University of Miami's volleyball team earned the American Volleyball Coaches Association (A ...

University of Miami head golf coach Patti Rizzo announced the 2018-19 schedule, featuring nine tourn ...

The Canes are well represented across the nation this summer with players competing in each of the t ...

The University of Miami had four student-athletes selected to the watch lists for the Maxwell Award ...

The University of Miami's Symone Mason closed out the 2018 IAAF World U20 Championships with a ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.