I can’t understand why we allow a band of incompetent Vikings to form a committee that confers one of the highest honors in the world. Honestly, the Nobel Peace Prize? That’s it?
We’re talking about the Wonderful Wizard who is going to single-handedly rescue the global economy and write a thrilling autobiography after the conclusion of his eight-year mission. Why wouldn’t they honor this man with a Nobel Prize in Literature and Economics?
Can you imagine Obama’s future autobiography? You know, his third. The masterpiece that will inspire every man, woman, and child to be the change they want to see in the world. Not only will it inspire, it’ll be exquisitely written! Now, as I gaze out over the darkening sky over Lake Osceola, I quiver with anticipation for the radiant tomorrow that Obama will bring.
Unfortunately, we must all endure the fact that the savior of humanity only won the Peace Prize. Although 2009 was the year with the most Peace Prize nominations in history, no person deserved it more. Certainly not Hu Jia, a Chinese human rights activist who has been jailed by the Chinese government for her “subversive” activities, or Morgan Tsvangirai who, despite repeated attempts on his life, managed to get the ruthless dictator of Zimbabwe, Robert Mugabe, to share power. People (who might as well not be named) like Paul Farmer and Krisana Kraisintu shouldn’t be recognized for their incredibly successful efforts to reverse HIV epidemics in the Global South.
Obama will likely send 40,000 more troops to Afghanistan and was unable to close the Guantanamo Bay detainment facility. Nevertheless, his successes on the international stage demonstrate he is a true peace hero. Obama has recently taken a novel, controversial position regarding nuclear weapons. He daringly proposed to the UN that we make it more difficult for terrorists to access nuclear materials. Unlike his predecessors, Obama has made clear his aim to limit nuclear proliferation.
The president is clearly an improvement over his predecessor when it comes to multilateralism. It should probably be noted that almost any Democrat elected would appear black to Bush’s white, when it comes to not acting like a boorish bonehead. Still, could they pull it off with Obama’s style? Next year, I submit Miss America’s name in nomination, for taking such a courageous stand on the issue of world peace.
Josh Kornfield is a sophomore majoring in international studies and political science.