Dear V

Dear V: All I want to do is bang, bang, bang…

Dear V,

I am a guy who has been a virgin his entire life. I don’t know if it is because I don’t connect well with chicks or not; I have never even had a serious girlfriend, and the hitch-up to senior prom was a disaster! I am not looking for a serious relationship, just a hot one-night stand. Where can I find girls on campus to have sex with?



Dear Frustrated,

You go to college in Miami.  I can guarantee you that there are people running around looking to get laid.  The fact that you are a virgin (your entire life, really?  I thought that maybe there was a time a few years ago when you weren’t a virgin, but then you became one again) leads me to believe that the issue stems from within.

Might I prescribe a bit of soul searching?

Consider why you want this “hot one-night stand” to the point of frustration.  Here are my guesses.  You are either:

A. Bored.

B. Seeking validation from your peers.

C. Seeking validation from yourself.

D. All of the above, with a dash of horny.

My gut says D.

First, it is understandable how a lack of sex could leave you in a lull.  However, this situation can be remedied through a wealth of options. Joining clubs or campus organizations, studying, going out, exercising or a little shameless self-discovery can assist you.

As far as guesses B and C are concerned, I can assure you that losing your virginity will not win you automatic approval.  This is just a fact.  And if you feel that you don’t have much to offer to the opposite sex, why would they want to take you up on it in the first place?

While I can identify with your desire not to be in a serious relationship at this point in your life, I must say that your mission for a one-night stand is a tad sleazy.  This could be the reason why you have yet to succeed in this mission.  Again, showing that you don’t have much to offer aside from a hard-on is not the most effective way to pick up a woman.

In the mean time, you need to find what makes you tick.  Find a sport, hobby or talent that helps you blow off some extra steam and boosts your confidence.  Perhaps this could lead you to find someone special when you least expect it.

Best of luck!


October 4, 2009



Advice Columnist

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