V's Take

Dear V: Am I the next 40-year-old virgin?

V,
 
It has been a long time since my last relationship, and since then I haven’t had sex.  I have heard people say that when a girl doesn’t have sex for a while, she loses all her skill and the next intercourse is painful.  Is there any truth to this?

Sincerely,
Use it or Lose It

Dear Lose It,

Your signature reminds me of The 40 Year Old Virgin. Okay—you’re no virgin, but I understand your concern. There are few people who would want to repeat their first time having sex.
 
In some respects, this “use it or lose it” philosophy is true. In others, it is not.
 
Women do have a tendency to… spring back, so to speak. If you do not have intercourse for a while, your body will in some ways go back to what it was like before you were sexually active.  Essentially, you’ll be less flexible than you were, making sex a little less enjoyable. However, when women lose their virginity, a piece of skin called the hymen breaks. This is often what is associated with much of the pain that comes with the first time. When the hymen breaks, it does not heal. You will never have this problem again.
 
Often, physical pain after a dry spell does not persist. If it does, you might want to consult a doctor. There are a number of simple solutions available for this issue.
 
As far as your skill level is concerned, you probably have not lost any knowledge on how to perform. Think of it this way: have you forgotten about the things you enjoy most in bed?  Have you forgotten any of the little tricks you may have learned from your past experiences? Chances are, you’re probably thinking of them now more than ever!
 
It is safe to say that the longer a sexually active adult goes without sex, the more they want it. The more they want it, the more they think about it. Once you hop back in the sack, I am sure your memory will kick in and guide you.
 
That being said, a lack of sex often makes it all too easy to lower standards. Keep this in mind. Sleeping with the wrong person, whatever the reason might be, could have its consequences. Your patience and permissiveness is more likely to pay off.
 
Best of luck!
 
V

August 26, 2009

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The Miami Hurricanes will have plenty of talent on both sides of the ball this season, and four play ...

Jesus Luzardo had yet to throw a single pitch as a professional baseball player in 2016 when he unde ...

Former Miami Hurricanes quarterback Robert Marve has been arrested in Hillsborough County on an out- ...

Mark Richt has led the Miami Hurricanes back into the national college football conversation during ...

University of Miami coach Mark Richt and his vaunted 2018 signing class, nicknamed #Storm18, should ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

University of Miami law and political science professors weigh in on Trump’s SCOTUS nominee. ...

Research bioclimatologists with the UM Synoptic Climatology Lab counsel cities on how to manage risi ...

A UM-led study is examining how children’s play behavior at beaches could impact their health. ...

Political polarization, distrust in fact-based knowledge and verbal targeting may be fueling the ons ...

The University of Miami's volleyball team earned the American Volleyball Coaches Association (A ...

University of Miami head golf coach Patti Rizzo announced the 2018-19 schedule, featuring nine tourn ...

The Canes are well represented across the nation this summer with players competing in each of the t ...

The University of Miami had four student-athletes selected to the watch lists for the Maxwell Award ...

The University of Miami's Symone Mason closed out the 2018 IAAF World U20 Championships with a ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.