Dear V

Dear V: Boyfriend’s foot feelings have me spacing

Dear V,

I love my boyfriend very much and would do almost anything to make him happy. Unfortunately, he loves to have his toes sucked and it really grosses me out because he has sort of webbed toes. Every time I perform for him, I am emotionally drained afterwards because I mentally go to someplace far away so as not to be in the moment. Is it fair to expect this of me? Am I close-minded and persnickety?

Sincerely,
Toe Up

 

Dear Toe,

Feet are one of nature’s greatest sexual ironies. It seems that for every foot fetish in the world, exists a foot-phobe. You are not being “persnickety” in the least. In fact, I tip my hat to you for overcoming your mental block in order to please your boyfriend – especially when his toes aren’t aesthetically pleasing. Individuals with webbed toes are often self-conscious of this unique feature, so lover boy must be thrilled to have someone like you to accept it.

In regards to your first question, I think it is fair that your boyfriend expects you to nibble on his piggies solely based on the fact that you have done it before. However, if it is depleting your sex drive, it is also fair that you expect your beau to be able to discuss the subject with you. You don’t need to tell him that his webbed toes freak you out. Just say that you’re not into feet. Make sure to emphasize how important his satisfaction to you.

Avoid being dramatic. Telling somebody that your sack sessions leave you “emotionally drained” will typically not work in your favor. Be as concise as possible.

Your boyfriend should keep your sexual pleasure in mind just as much as you have kept his. Judging from your words, this guy’s a gem. So of course, you are too. You deserve to be treated as such. And from what I hear, nothing alludes to him falling short of your expectations.

And in a last ditch effort to put a sexy spin on webbed toes: Ashton Kutcher has them!
If that did not change your opinion, you at least learned something new today.

Best of luck!
-V

Have a question for V? Hit up DearV@themiamihurricane.com.

April 22, 2009

Reporters

Matthew Bunch


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