V's Take

Dear V: How can I keep my man’s bro away?

Dear V,

My boyfriend and I have been together for several months now, and things are going great between us. His best friend (and roommate) is a different story. As our relationship gets more and more serious, the best friend gets more and more possessive. What can I do to make him more accepting of me?

 

-Bromantically Challenged

Dear Challenged,
Young love is one of the most powerful forces on the face of the earth. It has the power to turn even the most gentle of lambs in to a vicious lion. And while you might think that I am talking about your relationship with your boyfriend, I am actually referring to the unrequited “bromance” that you see coming from your beau’s bud.

I’m happy to hear that things are going strong between you and your boyfriend, and that you would report to me before taking this issue any further.

The last thing you need is a brawl between, you, your man and his BFF. You and the “biff” in question mean a lot to the man in the middle, and it would make you both pretty undesirable if things were to come to a head.
In the words of mothers across America, “Be the bigger person!” Start by asking yourself a few simple questions:

Are you giving your boyfriend enough space? How often are you at his place? How do you treat his friend?

Hopefully your answers are along the lines of “yes,” “not all the time,” and “kindly,” I bet your boyfriend can pick up on the fact that his chum is acting like a child. In which case, feel free to ask your man if his friend is okay, and if there is anything you could do to make him feel more included. After all, who else knows a guy better than his own best friend?

Another alternative is just to leave the bro-wrecker alone, and not let this best friend get to you. Have you ever tried being rude to a total sweetheart? It’s impossible. Be that sweetheart! Smile, say hello, strike up a conversationand laugh at his jokes. Your kindness can be contagious!

Best of luck!
-V

February 4, 2009

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


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