V's Take

Dear V: Will digital interaction require virus scan?

DISCLAIMER: The following column includes graphic sexual content. If you are not comfortable with this subject matter, The Hurricane advises that you not read any further.

Dear V,

I’m sure you hear this all the time, but this question is about my friend. He went to Bare Necessities last weekend and made out with and fingered a stripper while making it rain over her head. Will he get any type of bacterial infection? Why do men who can get women without going to strip clubs pay for dirty poontang?

~One Hundred in Ones

 

Dear One Hundred in Ones,

Actually, it’s not too often that someone asks me if fingering a stripper will result in an infection. But I’m glad you asked! I am not a doctor, but I’m pretty sure that the likelihood of that happening is low.

I would think it also depends on what he did directly after his activity with said stripper (i.e. wash his hands or say, I don’t know, lick his fingers?). The reason I mention this is because STDs such as chlamydia are bacterial and could be passed on through oral sex. If he got whatever ended up on his fingers in his mouth or other open parts of his body, then I guess there’s a chance. And the thing about chlamydia is that it is asymptomatic, therefore your friend could carry and pass it without even knowing.

Your concern for your friend is obvious, which is good! Friends need friends to watch out for them when they’re being silly. Maybe it would be a good idea to encourage him to get tested for STDs. I mean, you can never be too sure.

As far as the second part of your question, about why eligible men resort to strip clubs and “dirty poontang,” I have learned that the one has nothing to do with the other. Let’s face it: men love strip clubs. Mention strip clubs or strip poker and you’ll get a big ol’ grin on a man’s face faster than I can take my clothes off.

Your friend clearly isn’t looking for a real woman. The point in going to a strip club (other than the obvious 100 percent guarantee of seeing boobies everywhere) is that it’s a little no-strings-attached fantasy come true. It’s like a live version of the sexual escapades they have in their dreams. Going to a strip club allows your friend to have fun with a woman without judgment or a chance of failure.

With that said, you can see that what happens in a strip club isn’t real life, and it’s important to keep it that way. This type of physical contact with strippers shouldn’t become a lifestyle. Sure, bros like to go to strip clubs every once in a while, but anything beyond that may become suspect. Basically, when your friend makes it rain, you’ll be the one to show him the light again.

December 3, 2008

Reporters

V

Advice Columnist


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

The college football season doesn't begin until the end of August, but that never stops media o ...

There were indications, even before Lonnie Walker IV was selected No. 18 by the San Antonio Spurs in ...

Add another player to the Miami Hurricanes' 2019 recruiting class. Defensive end Jahfari Harvey ...

From the onset, the Miami Hurricanes' plan was for the Carol Soffer football indoor practice fa ...

Gino DiMare on Tuesday stood in a spot that two men before him had crafted into a pinnacle of succes ...

At the University of Miami, employee recognition comes in many forms. ...

Community art project encourages the public to explore the vibrant downtown area of Coral Gables and ...

It appears that his third run for the presidency will be successful as he distances himself from the ...

Teachers tackle challenging questions at the Holocaust Studies Summer Institute. ...

A University of Miami lecturer explores the role of the front porch in black communities. ...

Anna Runia won the women's 400m hurdles at the Netherlands track and field championships, while ...

The University of Miami volleyball program will host nine ACC home matches and the Sunshine State Ch ...

Walker picked 18th overall by San Antonio Spurs, Brown 42nd by Detroit Pistons. ...

Gino DiMare was introduced as the 10th head baseball coach in Canes' history. ...

The University of Miami women's golf team had three individuals selected to the 2018 Atlantic C ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.