Shy guy can’t be mad for missing his chance


I met this guy in one of my classes this semester and ever since the first day of class, he has been flirting with me and has a huge crush on me. I like him too and my friends said to keep flirting back but to keep dating other people. One day, he heard about a date I went on with someone else and he got furious. He even ignored me for the rest of the day. I’m still interested, but I don’t know what to do! Should I just ask him out or should I forget about it?

– Interested and Frustrated

Dear Interested,

There are plenty of things that are really hard to say: “I’m leaving you for your frat brother.” “You should probably get tested for hepatitis C.” “A few lawyers may drop by about some downloads I made on your computer.” And finally: “Hey, want to grab dinner later?”

A guy who can’t get himself to utter those words, especially to a girl who has been flirting with him for months, needs to bring out his cojones. No need for you to bring out yours. If this is what it’s come to, then clearly this is going nowhere.

Sure, you can hold his sweaty little hand and try to coax the man out of him, but what do you think is going to happen? You’ll take the lead for the first 10 seconds and then he’ll take over from there? Doubtful.

I understand it’s tempting to excuse this behavior as “shyness,” but a shy man will eventually sack up to ask a girl out, especially if he likes her enough. There’s something going on with this guy and it’s not called being shy.

Of course, there is the small, lingering chance that if you do end up asking this guy out, it’ll turn out great. But I’d tread carefully if I were you. Anyone who reacts to news that someone he’s not dating has a date is bad news. He may seem like a sweetheart, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have issues.

Best of luck!

Fact o’ the Day: 31 percent of single people say the Internet can serve as a substitute for a significant other.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com. Do it! All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

April 10, 2008


The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.