V,
I’m a sophomore and I’ve been seeing this girl since the beginning of the semester. I’ve only ever had one other girlfriend and it was in high school. I get the feeling this new girl is pretty experienced, though. We’ve done a lot of kissing and stuff but I’m kind of scared to tell her that I’m a virgin. Do girls even care about that stuff?
~ 19-Year-Old Virgin
Dear reader,
First off, why do you assume your new girl’s done the deed? Have you asked her? It’d be a terrible mistake to presume that simply because she has dating experience that she also has bedroom experience. In general, college students tend to overestimate their peers’ ability to score with the opposite sex.
A 2005 survey of four universities found that though 80 percent of students only had one or fewer sex partners in the past year, 88 percent thought the average number of partners was higher. Ask your new girlfriend about her sexual past and you may be surprised by her answer.
More concerning than your outrageous assumption, however, is the fact that you want to sleep with this girl at all when you clearly know nothing of her sexual history. Come on, we’ve all seen pictures of syphilis and gonorrhea in our high school health classes. Ew. Why take a chance?
What’s more, you two don’t exactly seem to be the picture of open, healthy communication. I’m a firm believer that two people shouldn’t have sex until they’re comfortable enough to talk about it with one another. I should hope you’d want to lose your virginity to a girl with whom you have a meaningful connection.
Take a step in the right direction and tell your new girlfriend that you’re a virgin. If she were really all that concerned about the lack of sex in your relationship she wouldn’t have stuck around this long.
At least for now, she seems perfectly content to “kiss and stuff.” She may even find it endearing. The fact that you didn’t come to UM and go crazy trying to hook up with every girl you encountered sets you apart from many of the males here.
You can be sure your new girl will appreciate your honesty, as well. I know (I hope, anyway) I speak for most females when I say that sexual experience ranks lower on the priority list than sincerity, integrity and respect for women.
Best of luck!
V
Fact O’ the Day: Many teenage girls find their first time having intercourse is not as exciting as they expected. This phenomenon is known as Peggy Lee Syndrome, named for the singer’s song “Is That All There Is?”
Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Miami Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.