Opinion

The classification of college party-goers

If you sit outside one of the residential colleges on a Thursday, Friday or Saturday night, you may find yourself overwhelmed by an eclectic array of college “going-outers.” If you don’t know exactly which group of going-outers you belong to, this list may serve as a stepping stone in helping you figure out your place in the night life bunch.

The LBDs:
aka The Little Black Dresses

Characteristics: An LBD cannot be seen wearing her dress two centimeters past her behind-that is far too long. The dress must show ample cleavage and be accompanied by a pair of at least 12 inch stilettos that cannot be walked in without risking spinal cord injury.

Can be found at: South Beach, namely Mansion.
Can be found with: Papi Chulos.
Sole Purpose: Seduce men.

The PCs
aka The Papi Chulos

Characteristics: Papi Chulos generally wear nice button down shirts, usually leaving at least two buttons undone. They do this to make the ladies AND the gentlemen swoon. They have a bewitching way with words and never go back to their dorms without signing someone in.

Can be found at: South Beach, namely Mansion.
Can be found with: The LBDs.
Sole Purpose: Seduce anyone.

The JSs
aka The Jean Skirts

Characteristics: The JSs won’t be spotted with fewer than four members in their group. They must all wear white tank tops and giggle-nonstop.

Can be found at: The Grove or any house party.
Can be found with: The Preppies.
Sole Purpose: Get “crunk” and hook up with Preppies.

The Preppies
aka The Popped Collars

Characteristics: The Preps usually wear bright colored shirts with popped collars for unknown reasons, since they are always trying to prove their masculinity. They move in packs and can cause blindness with their neon pink Lacoste shirts.

Can be found at: Tavern or any house party.
Can be found with: The JSs
Sole Purpose: When not popping their collars, they’re busy popping something else.

The Partiers
aka The ones dressing up to go to themed parties.

Characteristics: They’re always seen wearing outfits ranging from togas to lingerie to sombreros. Eccentric accessories make them easy to spot.

Can be found at: Various soir

September 24, 2007

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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