V,
I’m a freshman this year and I’m having the best time. The girls on my floor are awesome and things are just going really well. I’m already really close with my new friends and we spend a lot of time together. My best friend from home keeps getting mad at me for not calling her as much as I used to. She’s going to community college and is still living at home with her parents so she’s kind of lonely. I love her to death, but I honestly don’t really have the time. Am I am horrible friend?
~Busy Signal
Dear Reader,
First off, you’re not a horrible friend. Maybe a little selfish (kidding.kind of), but not horrible. Consider for a moment what your friend must be going through. She’s a college student stuck at home and subject to her parent’s wrath. She probably still has to take out the trash and chauffeur her little brother to soccer practice. Meanwhile, her best friend is free to gallivant around South Beach and stumble home at 5 a.m. She’s knows you’re not spending all your time studying like you may say and has the Facebook pictures to prove it.
Try to be a little more sensitive to her situation. You shouldn’t feel bad about making new friends or even new best friends, but you should feel bad for ignoring your old one. I’m sure she’s been there for you in the past, and now it’s your turn.
It’s great that you love it here at UM, but you shouldn’t just toss your old life aside. While it’s easy to get caught up in all the excitement of coming to a new place and meeting new people, you shouldn’t forget those at home who love you and still want to be included in your life. It’s a delicate balancing act that takes time to perfect but, trust me it can be done.
If you really “love her to death,” then make the time to talk to her. Go over your schedules and find times when you’re both free. Instead of watching that “Scrubs” episode for the third time, pick up the phone. Maybe you should set up a time each week for a little catch-up chat. I’m sure all she really wants from you is to put some effort in to your relationship. She’ll feel better, and you won’t feel like a terrible person.
Best of luck!
V
Fact o’ The Day:
In one sample of healthy 80 to 102 year olds, 62 percent of the men and 30 percent of the women reported that they still engaged in sexual intercourse.
Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Miami Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.