Open your mind to a real-life ‘beauty and the geek’

I need some help. I don’t want to sound mean, but God has gifted me with the awkward talent of attracting total weirdos. I’d like to think I’m a non-judgmental person, but I’m talking Magic-card-toting, Star-Trek-Convention-attending, World-of-Warcraft-addicted crazies. I’m not saying that any of these things are bad, or automatically classify someone as a dork, but they’re just not my cup of tea. I try not to encourage these guys too much, but I’ll admit that I have a hard time saying no to people.but I don’t watch Star Trek! I don’t want to read the poetry you wrote me, and I’m not particularly interested in watching you play Dungeons and Dragons. So I guess my question is.why do they like me? How can I get them to understand that I’m just not interested? Am I being a horrible person here?


Utterly Confused

Dear Reader,

My goodness, if you weren’t so busy bashing Trekkies, maybe I could get a word in edgewise. Let’s be totally honest here, Miss “I’m a non-judgmental person.” We all judge-every single one of us-you, me, Donna Shalala, even the “total weirdos” you’re so concerned about. If you don’t judge, you might go home with the creepy 45-year-old man giving you the eye at Tavern on Thursday night. What I’m trying to say is, sometimes judgment is necessary in life. So while I truly advocate an open mind, don’t beat yourself up for a little criticism now and then-just try not to be a bitch about it.

As far as these boys go, at the very least you should be flattered that they’re so into you! In my experience, those who march to their own drummers tend to be attracted to the only truest of characters. Wow, that sounded corny. But have you ever seen a Dungeons and Dragons fan shacked up with a blonde sorority girl? (There I go judging again!) In other words, I’m guessing you’re a pretty nice gal. And that’s something to be proud of.

Unless you make some drastic changes (i.e. turn into aforementioned bitch), it sounds like these attractions aren’t going to be stopping any time soon. Instead of looking at this little quirk as an irritation, why not take it as a compliment? Instead of constantly trying to come up with awkward excuses when these boys ask you out (“Uh, I have to.wash my hair and.feed my chickens.”), why not accept an invite to go play video games or watch the latest Star Trek marathon? Despite your differing interests and hobbies, you may find yourself enjoying their company, so go warm up that X-Box!

Best of Luck!

Fact’o’the Day: In Newcastle, Wyoming, it’s illegal to have sex in a butcher shop’s meat freezer.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

August 27, 2007


The Miami Hurricane

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.