Opinion

Freshman Survival 102: A very bad Spring Break

Every year, college kids across the nation flock to exotic places like Cancun, Europe, and Booze Cruises around the Caribbean. These exotic trips don’t usually pay for themselves, and if you don’t have your parents to fork over the Almighty Dollar, your plans for Spring Break might become limited.

Such was the case with yours truly, who was forced to pack her bags and head not 520 miles southwest to unlimited drinking, but 30 miles north, to unlimited babysitting and parental supervision. So what is there to do for ten days when you have a fund of $0 dollars and a curfew? Well, some fun-filled activities that I engaged in included:

1.) Waking up at 3 p.m. every single day excluding a Saturday, where it was 4 p.m. The reason for waking up late was not due to a hangover from one too many body shots the night before, but from a Fresh Prince of Bel Air marathon on Nick at Nite.

2.) Reading gossip magazines like “US weekly”, “Life & Style” or the people section of “Time”, until I became an expert at matching the celebrity mom to her baby. My boyfriend became an expert at “Style Watch: Who wears it better? Chelsea Clinton vs. Jennifer Lopez.” Hmm, tough one.

3.) On an outing to Spring Break Central, also known as South Beach, via the “S” bus, I witnessed every mother’s worst nightmare and every son’s ultimate fantasy: girls in string bikinis rubbing baby oil over each other, to be well rewarded for their services later by a famous Miami-based porn site creator (best known for classy sites such as 8thstreetlatinas.com). Everyone enjoyed themselves immensely, particularly a sward of pale gentlemen presumably from the north, who immediately whipped out their camera phones and went crazy.

4.) Volunteering at the Hispanic version of Oktoberfest, which had Pi

March 27, 2007

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • Error

With the University of Miami season opener closing in, the next starting quarterback has yet to be n ...

The second fall scrimmage, closed to the media and public, is over. University of Miami coach Mark R ...

1. DOLPHINS: Fins any good? 'Dress rehearsal' may tell: Opening win, then lopsided loss. W ...

University of Miami linebacker Jamie Gordinier has had another unfortunate setback, effectively side ...

The calmest coach on the planet got mad Friday after football practice. University of Miami coach Ma ...

UM’s new chief academic officer holds some 40 patents, and in 2017 was inducted into the National Ac ...

University of Miami students and researchers are blogging during a month-long expedition in the Gulf ...

María de Lourdes Dieck-Assad, a world-renowned economist and former ambassador, fills a new role for ...

Through the U Dreamers Grant, DACA students find essential support as they pursue their college degr ...

UM students talk about their internships up north in a city that never sleeps. ...

RSS Error: A feed could not be found at http://www.hurricanesports.com/. A feed with an invalid mime type may fall victim to this error, or SimplePie was unable to auto-discover it.. Use force_feed() if you are certain this URL is a real feed.

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.