Dear V,

I’m in a bit of an uncomfortable position. I’ve been with my boyfriend for four months now, and we recently started having sex. He’s an amazing guy, and we really get along well. There’s just one thing: he wants to have anal sex. He says that he used to do it with his ex-girlfriend all the time, and that it feels way better for him than vaginal or oral sex. I’ve always been really weirded out by anal sex, and it’s something that I never planned on doing. But I really like this guy a lot, and I don’t want to lose him. Should I just suck it up and just do it?

Dear Reader,

First of all, you should never, ever let a guy pressure you into doing anything that makes you feel the slightest bit uncomfortable. It’s your body, and you can choose what you want to do with it. And, quite frankly, anal sex can be a bit of a daunting prospect for those who have never experienced it.

While the numbers vary from study to study, a 2006 survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control shows that anal sex is on the uptake among straight folk, with 38% of men and 32% of women regularly engaging in heterosexual anal sex.

Many couples, gay and straight alike, find anal sex to be very gratifying. It is by no means strictly a “gay thing,” nor is it weird, creepy, disgusting, or any other adjective you may have heard in reference to anal sex. Whatever floats your boat, right?

But would anal sex float your boat? Think about your reasons for being “weirded out” when it comes to anal. Is it fear of the physical act itself, and the possibility of pain? Do you associate it with any stigmas or stereotypes? Or is it just too private, and make you feel vulnerable? You need to made this decision for yourself-not for your boyfriend. If he’s as great as you say he is, he’ll accept your decision and leave it at that.

I don’t want to dissuade you in any way, but it’s always best to know the risks, and anal sex can be a healthy, enjoyable form of sexual activity, it can, like vaginal or oral sex, cause a smattering of not-so-fun problems.

Infection is common, due to the vast number of infectious germs down there. Need I say more? I think I will. You’re at a much higher risk for contracting STDs (*ahem* although I’m sure both you and your boyfriend have been tested since you started dating each other).

You are also particularly at risk for physical damage-after all, it’s a tender area). If you do indeed decide to go ahead and engage in anal sex, there are pretty easy fixes for some of these problems: wear a condom (as you always do, I’m sure); and use plenty of lube.

Remember, ultimately, this is your choice, and if your boyfriend can’t respect that, then it’s time to kick him to the curb. If you do decide to “just do it,” then, as always, I wish you the very best of luck!

Best of Luck!

V

Fact’o’the Day: According to a survey of sex shop owners, cherry is the most popular flavor of edible underwear. Chocolate is the least popular.

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