Congratulations, you survived your midterms. You’re clamoring for a break, and sure enough, Spring Break is right around the corner.
Different people spend Spring Break in different fashions. Some use it as an opportunity to catch up on some work. Others just wind down, relax, and take it easy. Still others venture to the far ends of the third world to assist those in need. But for the most part, people use Spring Break as the perfect excuse to party until they can party no more (at least not until after finals).
Because of Miami’s reputation as a party hotspot, many Spring Breakers flock down here during the entire month of March. So in order to party hard, you don’t even have to go anywhere! The fruity drinks, “Wild On!” and all the wet T-shirt contests people fly thousands of miles for are in your backyard.
However, once you stay in Miami for a couple of days, you realize just how obnoxious all the tourists, especially the northerners, really are. They’ve claimed Miami as their stomping grounds for the next week-although to their credit, they did pay a lot of money to be able to feel that way-much to the detriment of the local population. It’s like inviting Russell Crowe to your party and having him kick the crap out of you, guzzle your alcohol, make off with the women, and boot you from the bar.
It’s after you realize this that travel becomes a very attractive option. If you can’t afford or are too lazy to fly, or even drive anywhere outside the state, you’ll probably drive to Key West and sleep in your car (as yours truly has done before).
To get to your destination, you have to deal with the two worst places you can ever be stuck at for more than a few hours: airports and airplanes. The airports will be filled with people just as desperate to get away from town as you are, not to mention airport and security personnel who are sick of dealing with them by the time they get to you. Word to the wise: if you want to see your luggage again, bite your tongue and save the snarky comment you were about to lay on the lady checking you in.
Then, you arrive at your destination and enjoy all it has to offer. Cancun is essentially a 51st state, just like all the other Gulf Coast hotspots, except you can drink if you’re under 21. Vegas is a lot of fun, until the casinos steal all your money, and you can’t even get married at a drive-by chapel anymore. Where’s the fun in that?! As for Jamaica, let’s not kid ourselves: if someone tells you they’re going to Jamaica for Spring Break, it’s for one very specific reason, which I’ll let you figure out by yourself. And if you could afford to make it to Europe, congratulations! Too bad you now can’t afford to actually see the place.
Regardless of the destination, even if you found a ticket to get there, you probably couldn’t find one to get back to Miami, what with all the tourists flying in. You come back needing a break from it all, and sure enough, it’s back to school again. But look on the bright side-after all that, Russell Crowe got bored with the party and moved on to better things. You can finally relax again.
Here’s wishing you a fun, relaxing and/or productive Spring Break.
Jay Rooney is the The Hurricane Opinion Editor and a senior majoring in journalism and history. He may be contacted at email@example.com.