Dear V,

I’m a nice, attractive freshman guy, and most of my closest friends at school are girls. I have guy friends too, but I just find that I’m very comfortable with girls. I have two older sisters, so I’ve been raised to treat women with respect, and when I’ve had girlfriends in the past, I’ve been very sensitive and caring. The problem is that since I’ve been in college, none of these girls ever want to be anything more than just friends. Here’s what I don’t get: all my friends-that-are-girls are always saying they want nice, sensitive guys, but when it comes down to it, they always end up choosing the jerks over guys like me! What gives??

Sincerely,
The Nice Guy

Dear Reader,

What’s that saying? Ah yes, “Nice guys finish last.” As obnoxious and frustrating as it is, sometimes it’s very true, especially when it comes to immature college-aged people and relationships. And I’ll just put it out there: we girls can be extremely stupid and shortsighted when it comes to men.

Yes, we say we want a “nice guy”-a sensitive man who wants to talk about feelings and cuddle on the couch while watching a Diane Keaton flick. And deep down, maybe we really do want that nice guy. The problem is, a lot of us aren’t ready. We’re after the thrill of the chase, and if we know we’ve got a guy lock and key, chances are we’ll get bored pretty damn quick. Some of us are commitment-phobes, and the thought of someone really and truly liking us will make us want to run the other way.

True to human nature, girls want what they can’t have, which is why they tend to be more smitten with the jerk who doesn’t answer their phone calls (and sends them a text message at 2:00 a.m. on a Tuesday morning asking if they want to “watch a movie”), and end up ignoring the truly deserving guys.

Another potential problem comes into play when you get to be good friends with a girl. You may be interested in her, but a lot of girls won’t be willing to get involved on a romantic level because they care too much about your friendship.

Now don’t read this and think you have license to go out and act like a pig because you think the girls will come a’runnin’. Just don’t let anyone take advantage of you. And get aggressive! Don’t stand by while the hot-rod-driving bad guy with gelled hair and frosted tips is seducing the love of your life because you’re too nice to step in.

I give you tremendous props for being the nice guy. There are girls out there who want a sweet and sensitive man, you just have to look a little harder. You’ll probably hate me forever for saying this, but give it some time. You’re just a freshman! In the long run, I promise it’ll pay off.

Best of Luck!
V.

Fact’o’the Day: Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. It’s 10 times more effective than Valium!

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