Uncategorized

friends with benefits a one-way road to not friends at all-ville

Dear V,

In the last few months, I’ve been doing the whole “friends with benefits” thing with a pretty good friend of mine. At first I thought things were going great-we would hook up occasionally, while still keeping our friendship (or so I thought).

In the past few weeks, though, we haven’t seen each other at all. We haven’t even talked unless it’s through text messaging or instant messenger! Looking back, I guess I can see that our friendship has been on the decline since we started hooking up.

I would definitely like to be more than friends with this guy, but I do value our friendship, and at the very least want him as a friend.

Does he like me? Do I even have a chance? Or is it too late to fix this relationship? Please help!

The Friend?

Dear Reader,

Repeat after me: friends with benefits never works. There are so many reasons not to get stuck in that maddening limbo between being friends and being in a relationship that I won’t even get into them all. I’m sure you’ve heard, though, that one person inevitably starts to like the other person more, and by that point it’s usually too late even to stay friends (um, can we say awkward?).

That said, if it’s truly worth it to you, it’s never too late to try to salvage a friendship. As uncomfortable as it may be, the best way to save your friendship with this guy is to suck it up and talk to him, preferably in person-no instant messaging, no facebooking, and absolutely NO text messaging *ahem* (all you Sidekick addicts out there take note).

If his friendship is what you value most, I’d also recommend forgetting the romance-it will only complicate the problem. Explain to him that you don’t want to lose him as a friend, and that you realize that in hooking up with him, you jeopardized any chance you had at a future friendship.

Still, it’s a two-way street, and he’s just as guilty as you are in taking that risky jump into hookup land. He knew the consequences, too. Ask him where he stands, and how he feels about your friendship/friends with benefits situation. Is it worth it to him to put in the time and effort it’s going to take to stay friends with you? Is it worth the time and effort for you?

Hopefully talking to your friend will clear the air between you, and you can start to rebuild the foundations of your friendship (which, I hate to say, probably won’t be too easy).

If you find that he’s unresponsive or unwilling to make the effort to stay friends with you, then he’s not worth your time anyway.

Best of Luck!
V

Fact’o’the Day: For every “normal” website on the internet, there are five porn sites.

Please send probing inquires to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in the offoce of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

February 9, 2007

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

University of Miami men’s basketball coach Jim Larrañaga received a grand jury subpoena for his phon ...

Get ready for an avalanche of University of Miami defensive backs and linemen descending on the Hard ...

The University of Miami football team has another player with a season-ending injury — and this one ...

When UM coach Mark Richt summoned quarterback Malik Rosier into his office last year, a few months a ...

Quarterback Malik Rosier of the No. 8-ranked Miami Hurricanes maintains a solid third place in what ...

Univeristy of Miami’s Wynwood Art Gallery holds its annual faculty exhibition featuring thought-prov ...

From a game simulating how whales navigate to a tribute to Ella Fitzgerald, the U showcased some of ...

A new mobile game called Blues and Reds, now available worldwide, aims to help researchers study int ...

A major Lancet Commission report, a three-year project headed by UM’s Professor Felicia Knaul and co ...

With a $6.8 million NIH grant, the UM School of Nursing and Health Studies and FIU Robert Stempel Co ...

The Hurricanes will look to slow down an inspired Syracuse team at Hard Rock Stadium on Saturday. ...

As a Hurricane Club member, you are invited to participate in the 25th Annual University of Miami Ha ...

University of Miami head coach Mark Richt was selected to the 20-member Paul "Bear" Bryant ...

University of Miami sophomore Bruce Brown Jr. was among 21 players named to the watch list for the 2 ...

Head coach Katie Meier and senior forward/center Erykah Davenport will represent Miami Thursday at t ...

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.