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time to pop the question or end the deal altogether?

Dear V,

I have been dating my girlfriend for a long time, and I think that she’s the one that I want to be with. We have discussed marriage, and I am considering proposing to her this upcoming Christmas. However, my parents do not like my girlfriend and never have. I come from a very conservative family, and my girlfriend is not conservative at all. I haven’t discussed an engagement with my parents, but I think that given the length of time we’ve been dating (3 years), they would assume that we would either get engaged or break up because what else can you do at this point? I really do want to marry this girl, but I am risking a whole lot in my relationships with my family, especially my parents.

Lovestruck

Dear Reader,

You are in a really tough boat, and I’m glad that you are taking the time to weigh things out rationally. On one hand, you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with your girlfriend, but on the other hand, can you marry this girl full well knowing that you don’t have the full support of your parents, people who are older and wiser and may very well be the people on this planet who know you the best. My question is: have you already bought the ring?

Obviously, there must be a legitimate reason why your parents hold such disdain for your significant other. I, for one, always try and take my parents’ advice with a grain of salt, but take it nonetheless; as I said before, they truly do know best (most of the time!) but it’s pretty hard to learn a thing without making a few mistakes of your own.

Before you completely and simultaneously blow them out of the water while cutting your ties with them, consider sitting down and having a serious heart to heart conversation about how you feel and your serious intentions for your girlfriend. Even if they don’t see eye to eye with you, and even if they flat out try and dissuade you from proposing, they will know what’s up and why it’s up.

Don’t be “that guy;” perhaps they will be more open to supporting your relationship if you tell them why it is that you love this girl so much.

Best of Luck!

V.

Fact O’ the Day.According to a 2002 study with a sample of over 9,000 teenagers and adults, the younger a person is the more likely he or she is to lie, cheat, steal, and/or engage in other unethical behaviors.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

November 21, 2006

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.