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you have two choices when dealing with a two-faced friend

Dear V,

I’m having problems with a friend of mine. She is a really nice person, and we used to get along really well. But, recently, things have changed. I have found out through other friends that she is always making really nasty comments about me behind my back and has been making these comments about me for a really long time. The funny thing is, she will be really nice to me, almost too nice to me to my face. It’s pretty obvious that I can’t trust her anymore. Is it worth my time and energy to confront her about her behavior? Or, should I just not even bother?

Being Back Stabbed

Dear Reader,

For whatever reasons, I think that this is a fairly common issue in many female friendships, especially those that were never terribly strong to begin with. Of course, nobody likes to see one of their friendships implode, but sometimes these collapses cannot be avoided; realistically, who wants to call some who talks poorly about her behind her back a friend? I’m sure that you don’t.

What is so unfortunate about losing a nasty friend is that even the loss of someone who proved to you that she clearly wasn’t worth your time can totally wreak havoc on your emotions and your energy. If you are in a particularly feisty mood, a vengeful personality, or just seeking some personal satisfaction, it might be worth your time and effort to confront her about her behavior. Of course, you risk being branded a “bitch” yourself if you choose to utilize this path of action. On the flip side, you might just want to let things wither away. I’m sure that someone who cares enough to think about this kind of a problem has a roster chock full of other friends, commitments and attachments. Yeah, it might be awkward having to mask your resentment of your ex-friend in situations where you are forced to socialize with her, but really, what’s so wrong with a little silent treatment now and then? But, if your anger can no longer be contained, go ahead and say something to the lovely lady.

Best of Luck!

V.

Fact O’ the Day…An average man has a nine-minute attention span…

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will

November 10, 2006

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.