Opinion

A grueling experience at the health center

I went to the Student Health Center the other day. By my senior year, I’ve discovered that the best tactic, for me anyway, is to go when you have a block of time, at least a few hours, and bring something to read/study so you won’t be bored stiff.

Before I continue, I should specify, in case there was ever any doubt: I am a social science major. I am not pre-med. I am no expert, and given my diet and exercise regime, it’s a miracle that I’ve survived this long-Darwin is rolling in his grave, and any day I’m waiting for natural selection and the Grim Reaper to knock at my door and laugh hysterically at my bewildered/surprised look. And if you haven’t already noticed, I’m also really good at sticking my foot in my mouth-so I don’t take my medical conjectures seriously and neither should you.

I was very concerned this time, because I thought I had appendicitis or something-and yes, I do watch Grey’s Anatomy, and yes, sitcoms are the source of most of my medical knowledge. Anyway, it wasn’t as serious as I thought it was, so I screamed “Hallelujah!” and left it at that.

She said it so confidently, that I was comforted enough and went on my merry way. I took that to mean, “You’ll be fine, it’s nothing to worry about.” It later occurred to me, however, that Ebola and HIV are also viruses, at which point I realized that I had misinterpreted the confidence. It wasn’t a “you’ll survive” assurance so much as a “it’s not bacterial, so there’s nothing we can do about it” dismissal.

Seriously, I figure when she examined me, looking down my throat she would have noticed if my internal organs were liquefying, or some other slight abnormality, but given some of the diagnoses I’ve been given in the past, I have my doubts. For instance, I once told them I was dizzy, and they told me I had vertigo (really, a fancy medical term for “dizzy”). Another time I went in with a cold, and looked at the “unless there is evidence of a bacterial infection, you should NOT use antibiotics!” brochure while I was waiting for the doctor. She told me I had a cold, and that she would prescribe me an antibiotic. I asked her if there was evidence of a bacterial infection, and she effectively said, “No, definitely not, but have some just in case, for shits and giggles!”

I went out to dinner with a friend of mine soon after that. She said, “Have you been eating much? Because if you don’t eat much, your stomach will act up like that.” I told her I haven’t been eating much of anything recently, lending credence to her diagnosis.

Then I started eating more, and my stomach’s settled down. I’m so glad I wasted my time at the health center. Next time I’ll just go to my friend instead.

Bethany Quinn is a senior majoring in Latin American studies and photography. She may be contacted at b.quinn2@umiami.edu

October 27, 2006

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • HurricaneSports

It’s the play Miami Hurricanes fans will never forget — and Florida State fans are trying to forget. ...

Miami Hurricanes fans might recall their favorite college football players in past years dreaming of ...

The new quarterback is usually the ones fans gush over. For the University of Miami, last season it ...

Debate all you want, but University of Miami football coach Mark Richt made it clearer than ever Wed ...

Last year, when University of Miami tailback Mark Walton attended the Atlantic Coast Conference Foot ...

UM dining services team earns national recognition for special event catering. ...

From hammerheads to great whites, University of Miami researcher Neil Hammerschlag is a dedicated sp ...

An ACLU report authored by UM sociologists documents racial and ethnic disparities in Miami-Dade Cou ...

Following the summit between Trump and Putin, reaction from politicians, pundits and former intellig ...

A School of Communication associate professor played an important hand—an artistic one!—in World Cup ...

Miami senior Tyler Gauthier was named to the 2018 Fall Watch List for the Rimington Trophy presented ...

Miami junior wide receiver Ahmmon Richards was among those named to the watch list for the 2018 Bile ...

University of Miami junior running back Travis Homer was named a preseason candidate for the Doak Wa ...

Six former Canes competed on NBA Summer League teams, with three averaging at least 10 points per ga ...

Quick Hits gives University of Miami volleyball fans an opportunity to get to know the new student-a ...

TMH Twitter
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly in print on Tuesdays during the regular academic year.