Longing for love in the wrong place

Dear V,

I have been in love with this girl, a friend of mine, for over three years. She is pretty, funny, and smart, and really, everything I could ever ask for in a girlfriend. However, she has a boyfriend, which is definitely, of course, a really big problem as far as I’m concerned. Not only that, but they’ve been together for a long time, so I doubt that she would ever consider me anything more than a friend. But, sometimes I don’t know because she is very flirtatious with me, and our friendship is very, very strong. We hang out a lot. I don’t know what to do because my love life has been pretty tame (or lame) for a long time, and yet I can’t seem to find anyone that I want as much as her, and I can’t seem to click with anyone as well as I click with her.

Guy Friend Wants to be Boyfriend

Dear Reader,

I hate to break it to you, but I think that you might need to open up a little more and start dating around! The only way to get over someone (and you are obviously attached to your friend very deeply) is to find somebody new. I know it sounds like the most impossible thing to do, especially since you have romantic feelings for your friend, but you just need to get on with it and do it. You are not being fair to yourself, and you shouldn’t have to prolong your rut anymore. There are lots of pretty girls all over the place, and if you don’t like one, then by all means, take somebody new out.

As for your friendship, perhaps you ought to start distancing yourself slightly from your friend because clearly your attachment to her isn’t doing you much good. Now, when I say distance, I do not mean dump. Perhaps, it’s time to open up your social circle to new bonds with other people and to not always hang out with her. You also say that she is flirtatious around you, but I honestly don’t think that she is trying to lead you on. Instead, she probably feels very comfortable being around you, and more than likely, considers you to be her “best guy friend.” While I obviously don’t know the specifics of her relationship with her boyfriend, it might not be a stretch to say that you are filling the role of “emotional boyfriend” for this friend of yours, and both you and I know that you deserve all the benefits of a relationship.

Best of Luck!


Fact O’ the Day.The higher a man’s testosterone on any given day, the faster his facial hair grows.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

October 24, 2006


The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami

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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.