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you should let loose before saying ‘I do’.

Dear V,

I recently met a young man in whom I am interested in pursuing a relationship. The only problem is that I am presently in a long-term relationship with a guy that is wonderful to me. I know you are asking yourself why would I leave such a great guy to start something uncertain with a prospect!! The answer is pretty simple, he was my first real relationship and I am quite curious about other people. How do I know something is right if I have nothing to compare it with? I don’t want to tell either person since I don’t think either person would understand. Also, I don’t want my long-term boyfriend to start dating other girls, too. What should I do?

Stuck in a Groove

Dear Reader,

Something tells me that maybe you aren’t quite ready to let go of the great thing with your boyfriend that you currently have.

Unfortunately, if you wanted to date other people, he too would be able to date other people; having your cake and eating it too is a lot harder to fathom when there are two autonomous, hormonally driven people involved! If only the old green eyed monster weren’t an issue!

I do, however, understand your need to let loose a little bit. While I do know a few married and soon to be married couples who managed to seal the ultimate deal with their first significant others, they are far, far, far more the exception than the rule.

I am of the opinion that most people date around before finally settling on “the one,” but this is not to say that making that eternal commitment to your first serious partner is wrong or a bad thing because it isn’t at all. True, variety may be the spice of life, but you have some serious options to weigh if you happen to be very happy in your current mating state but feel the pull of temptation-will it be worth it?

On another serious note, if you do happen to undertake this mission and date the new guy, you must realize that honesty is of the utmost importance. Dating this new guy without your steady lover knowing would be committing a serious act of betrayal.

Likewise, it is not fair of you to keep your newest suitor in the dark about your relationship status, especially since his interest in you might not be quite as keen upon his discovery of your actual boyfriend. Then again, if the connection is strong enough and his interest in homewrecking is high, you might have an even messier situation on your hands.

Best of Luck!

V.

Fact O’ the Day.The more older brothers a man has, the greater the chance that he will develop a homosexual sexual orientation.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

October 13, 2006

Reporters

The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.