don’t be afraid to explore your…everything!

Dear V,

My birthday was last week, and my boyfriend bought me a vibrator because I had told him that I had never masturbated before. I am kind of upset that he did this because I think that masturbation is disgusting and unnatural, especially when done in a relationship. He said that he would show me how to use it, but now I don’t know what to think of him anymore. He’s not the guy that I thought he was, and I’m not so sure that I even want to be in a relationship with someone who would buy me a vibrator or who believes in using one.


Dear Reader,

I can understand why you would react in this manner. Opening up to another person on a romantic level can be a difficult process for some. Likewise, the act of sex is perhaps one of the most intimate experiences that can be shared with another person.

All of this being said, I do not, however, think that a person’s sexual preferences in bed are indicative of his or her entire being; one’s sexuality is only a part of a whole identity. I do not think that your boyfriend’s present should be taken as the be all, end all indicator of who he is or what he stands for. In all actuality, he was probably only trying to help you out! Though not all people view masturbation as a natural act, I (as well as the leading sex therapists and medical professionals in this country) am of the opinion that masturbation is not only a totally natural act, but one that is healthy and good for you. Regardless of how good it feels, achieving orgasm through masturbation is just as valid as achieving it through intercourse. Furthermore, it’s pretty tough to figure out what your own preferences are in bed without a little self-guided experimentation down there, and the more you know about how your own plumbing works, the more you will be able to share with your boyfriend – if you get my drift.

Best of Luck!


Fact O’ the Day…Every year at least 500 Americans die from asphyxiation in an attempt to achieve a more powerful orgasm.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

September 12, 2006


The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami

Around the Web
  • Miami Herald
  • UM News
  • Error

With the University of Miami season opener closing in, the next starting quarterback has yet to be n ...

The second fall scrimmage, closed to the media and public, is over. University of Miami coach Mark R ...

1. DOLPHINS: Fins any good? 'Dress rehearsal' may tell: Opening win, then lopsided loss. W ...

University of Miami linebacker Jamie Gordinier has had another unfortunate setback, effectively side ...

The calmest coach on the planet got mad Friday after football practice. University of Miami coach Ma ...

UM’s new chief academic officer holds some 40 patents, and in 2017 was inducted into the National Ac ...

University of Miami students and researchers are blogging during a month-long expedition in the Gulf ...

María de Lourdes Dieck-Assad, a world-renowned economist and former ambassador, fills a new role for ...

Through the U Dreamers Grant, DACA students find essential support as they pursue their college degr ...

UM students talk about their internships up north in a city that never sleeps. ...

RSS Error: A feed could not be found at http://www.hurricanesports.com/. A feed with an invalid mime type may fall victim to this error, or SimplePie was unable to auto-discover it.. Use force_feed() if you are certain this URL is a real feed.

TMH Twitter Feed
About TMH

The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.