V,

I don’t consider myself to be a jealous or uptight person. Usually, I’m pretty relaxed about most things. However, I am starting to get really irritated with my boyfriend’s female friends. I know that he’s allowed to have and to be friends with as many people as he wants to be friends with, but for some reason I am just not comfortable with his friendships with other girls. Is this normal behavior? I feel like I’m beginning to turn into a paranoid person.

A Good Girlfriend

Dear Reader,

Rest assured, I think that almost every girl who has entered a relationship with a likeable guy has faced this issue. The question isn’t, is he allowed to have platonic friendships with other girls? Because, obviously we all know (though we may not feel that it is necessarily correct!) that he is.

Yes, just as you are allowed to have scores of platonic male friends, he is allowed to have a multitude of friends who happen to be of the female sex.

Now, I could understand how your near paranoia would be justified if your boyfriend were choosing to spend too much of his spare time with his other lady friends or if he were choosing to act in an overly “friendly” manner with these girls; I don’t think that sleepovers or hitting up happy hour on a consistent basis with his female friends, sans you, are acceptable activities for him in which to participate. If, however, he chooses to eat lunch with one of these friends on every other Tuesday, then, well, tough for you crazy lady.

I am of the opinion that much of your jealousy of these friendships stems from either your own personal feelings of insecurity or feelings of insecurity regarding some aspect of the relationship.

Perhaps, you feel as if some of his female friends are prettier, smarter, and or more talented that you. Or, maybe your insecurity is indicative of your own, deep-rooted trust issues.

Could it be that at the heart of it, you’re not 100% percent confident that your boyfriend wouldn’t cheat on you if he had the chance? If I were you, I would spend some time mulling over your relationship because if you don’t, your fears are going to eat you alive.

Best of Luck!

V.

Fact O’ the Day.63% percent of all Sexually Transmitted Infections occur in those under the age of 25.

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