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Dear V

Dear V,

I think that one of my best guy friends might like me. We’ve always been very flirtatious with each other. We will cuddle, and hold hands, and dance together, but that is as far as it has ever gotten! We became good friends because he was my ex-boyfriend’s best friend, and even though that ended, we are still very close. Recently though, I feel like things have changed. For instance, whenever we go out, he won’t just want to dance with me, but he will follow me around and act very territorial with me. Whenever I try and talk to other guys, he will always be around me. When we don’t go out with one another, he will always call me at like three in the morning, wondering to see what I’m up to. Anyways, I’m pretty sure that he likes me, but I don’t know if I want to take our friendship in that direction because the semester is ending and because I don’t know if I like him like that.

Dear Reader,

Uh, yeah, I’d say that your friend might have a thing for you, a big thing actually. It’s pretty obvious that the sexual tension exists between the two of you, even though you aren’t willing to give into it. Fortunately, it seems as if the two of you have been able to sustain your friendship with one another, even though what each of you want from the friendship is radically different, or maybe not.

I don’t think that your problem with what could be lies in the fact that the semester is ending. As I’ve said before, I think that citing timing as an excuse to not get together is a bit of a cop out. You already know what you need to figure out with this one-is it worth getting involved with a friend even if you aren’t 100 percent sure about how much you like him?

Keep in mind that some of the best relationships are born out of platonic friendships that took a more serious turn. It is indisputable that one of the most important aspects of a relationship is the friendship part; you have to enjoy being with this person both in and out of bed. Likewise, we all know of blissful, serious relationships that are only in existence because sometime decided to lay it all out on the line and take a chance. On the flip side, we all know of relationships that grew out of friendships and subsequently went bust, leaving all parties involved miserable, bitter and friendless. Clearly, what is so totally at stake in bumping up your friendship to the next level is the friendship itself because there are absolutely no guarantees that what you have with one another would reappear if things didn’t work out on the non-platonic level. Would you ever be able to pick up where you left off?

In my opinion, if you’re not convinced yet of a deeper attraction to your friend, you ought to kind of wait things out before getting involved. The absolute last thing you want to do is confuse the situation worse by taking the plunge and then hastily pulling back after you realize that you don’t want anything more than a friendship with him. It’s not fair to toy with someone, especially your friend, by sending mixed signals.

Best of luck!

V.

Fact o’ the Day.Upon puberty, the level of testosterone (the hormone held responsible for sex drive) within a female’s body doubles, whereas the level of testosterone within a male’s body increases from 10 to 20 times.

Please send probing inquiries to DearV@hotmail.com or drop V a line in her box in the office of The Hurricane. All questions and comments will remain anonymous.

V. is a senior majoring in psychology and creative writing.

April 4, 2006

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The Miami Hurricane

Student newspaper at the University of Miami


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The Miami Hurricane is the student newspaper of the University of Miami in Coral Gables, Fla. The newspaper is edited and produced by undergraduate students at UM and is published weekly on Thursdays during the regular academic year.