It’s morning, you’ve just dragged yourself out of bed and you’re on the elevator to head up to your class. While you silently wait for the elevator to make its way up, the person next to you gets a phone call. Now, they don’t have their phone on vibrate-of course not, that would make too much sense. Instead their phone plays a stereophonic blast of crappy music that makes your brain melt because the first thing everyone wants to hear in the morning is Pit Bull. Die.
It doesn’t end there, since in the elevator most people have bad reception, they proceed to yell into their phones. “Hello! Can you hear me? I just woke up; yeah, school sucks. Can you pick me up? Can you pick me up?”
I recommend at this point to flip kick that person right in the face, grab their cell phone, insult the person on the other line, then proceed to break the phone in half, because quite frankly, everyone is tired of obnoxious people in elevators using their cell phones. Firstly, we don’t want to listen in on your conversation, because yes, we can hear the person on the other end, and we don’t care to. Not to mention that the whole elevator situation is a spawn point of awkward moments, and the talking on the phone isn’t helping. It’s rude, obnoxious and shows very little tact.
Then you have the people who own Nextel phones, you know those little walkie-talkie type devices; these people are the equivalent of their elevator brethren, except 100 times worse because you can hear their whole conversation loud and clear-get a room. No one wants to hear you and your friends planning a night of debauchery. I also love, and when I say love I mean hate, when a couple will be on the phone talking all romantic, “I love you too schnukums!” It’s the aural equivalent of watching people make out, and when you watch people make out, it’s like porn; do you want to be watching porn in public? Didn’t think so.
Seriously, it’s not that hard; when you get a phone call walk away from the crowd, that way people don’t have to listen to you babble on and you won’t have to yell into your phone like an idiot.
Let’s be a little more considerate of the people around us; no one wants to listen in on your phone conversations, and no one wants to have to stand in a crowded elevator in an awkward setting listening to you. Most definitely no one wants to hear personal details and things about your private life. I’ve heard this complaint a hundred times so it bothers a lot of people-try not to be that person everyone hates.
Jovanni Bello can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.